My Brain Hurts

Story Sent in by P.J.:

I messaged Betsy over a dating site and we talked for long enough to organize a first date. After that conversation, though, I didn't hear from her at all. We had agreed on a time and place, a week or so in advance, but none of my messages or phone calls were answered since we had set it up. That was unusual, as she was typically communicative.

I showed up anyway, more anxious than excited, and sure enough, she made an appearance. I gave her a smile and asked her how she was.

"Not good," was her response. Uh-oh.

I told her that we didn't have to go through with the date if something personal was wrong. But she said that she wanted to, so we sat down.

I didn't ask her what was wrong, but she launched into it anyway. She said that she had lost her little sister's favorite toy stroller, and that her little sister had cursed her, causing her brain to atrophy.

I asked, "How old's your little sister?"

"Twelve, but she has sentimental attachments to everything."

"How'd you lose her... stroller?"

"I was moving it from the living room to the basement, but somehow lost track of where I put it."

"And your brain is... shrinking?"

She said, "My sister said some magic words and all of a sudden I'm stupider. I didn't even remember we had a date tonight until the last minute. I don't even remember anything from college..."

The waitress came by for our orders. A salad for me and pasta for Betsy. Betsy answered most other questions with "I don't know" or "I forget" and soon she fell into a dull silence during which she simply stared straight ahead.

I became convinced it was an act until our meals were served. After a few moments, she leaned forward and her face smooshed right into her pasta. I waited a moment to see if she'd lift herself out of it, and when she didn't, I picked up her head and leaned her against the side of the booth. I wiped marinara sauce off her face with both of our napkins and asked for the check.

The problem was that Betsy was either really comatose or acting comatose. Was I supposed to just leave her there? I tried talking to her several more times, and when she was non-responsive, I told her that I was going to call for an ambulance.

She didn't move a muscle, so I paid the check, left the booth, and called a local hospital. Just in case she was faking it, I didn't want to land in trouble for dialing 911.

Whether or not she was still there when the ambulance arrived, I don't know. I had left by then. Hopefully, they were able to fix her brain.


  1. Why would you get into trouble for calling 911? Just as long as you thought someone needed help, you're in the clear. Sounds like something really was wrong with her and 911 should have been called as soon as her face hit the pasta. Even the sister story itself sounds like she needed help of some kind.

  2. I think the OP meant he didn't want to get in trouble for calling 9-1-1 for someone who might not actually need help and bailed before an ambulance arrived thus leaving him to explain.

    And I don't think anything was physically wrong with Betsy. Her psychosis seemed to only present itself when it was convenient. She couldn't remember events of her life but remembered a date (albeit at the last minute)? I think she used online dating to troll people in real life.

  3. Maybe she had that weird disease, narco..... narco.... narcosleepy.

    This date is just mind boggling. What ever happend to the good old dates that gave BJs for rides home? We could just slag the OP until our sides hurt with laughter. But this...I mean, WTF right?


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