Kicking the Belch Bucket

Story Sent in by Nick:

Tori and I were on her back porch, looking out over the woods that stretched beyond. It was my first time at her family's country house. We had been dating for a few weeks, and I had never dated someone, to my knowledge, with a country house, before.

We were there with her parents and older brother, but they had gone to bed early, so we were alone on her deck. We shared a couple of beers and then made out.

Shortly into it, she punched my shoulder and pushed away from me. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she had to use the "belch bucket."

There was a large white plastic bucket on the deck that I guess I hadn't previously noticed. She nearly ran to it and dropped her head over it, like she was going to puke. Instead, she burped into it, then stood up and wiped her mouth.

"A belch bucket?" I asked her. I had never heard of one before. Was it a country house thing?

She said, "My father's idea. He wants us to use it when we're out here."

"I don't get it," I said, "Is it like a joke?"

"No. He's really serious about it. He gets mad if we belch anywhere else while we're out here."

I asked, "You really think he would've heard you not use it out here? He's in bed."

She returned to me. "I don't want to take chances." We went back to kissing, and thus was I distracted from any further curiosity about it.

We were at it for a little while when the glass door to the inside of her house slid open. There stood her brother, at the door and staring at us. We stared back at him.

Her brother, who carried himself like he'd been drinking, tottered over to the belch bucket, picked it up, and emptied it over the porch railing. "Go on, don't mind me," he said to Tori and I once he turned back around. He leaned against the porch railing, as if he expected Tori and I to go back to fooling around right in front of him.

Tori hurried inside the house, and I followed her. Her brother called on me to "wait," but I didn't.

Tori made it to her room first and slammed the door behind her and locked it. I knocked on it repeatedly and called her softly. She never opened it, and so I spent the night in an armchair.

The next day, she barely spoke to me at all, and her brother didn't say a word about what had happened. When I tried to talk to Tori about it, she either changed the subject or ignored me completely.

In the late afternoon, she asked me what I was still doing there, at the house. I reminded her that her folks were nice enough to give me a ride up there. We had all come in the same car. She said that she'd give me the money for a cab and then some if I left as soon as possible. When I told her that I didn't want to leave, she said, "I wasn't asking."

So she gave me some cash, called a taxi company, and I said goodbye to her family while she stayed in her room. I left, the taxi dropped me off at a commuter train station, and I eventually made it back home. Never heard from her again.


  1. After dating only a few weeks, it seems a bit early to be visiting/vacationing at a country house with her family. But whatever. Maybe she just was really embarrassed.

  2. Wait. What did the brother empty out of the belch bucket? Belches? Really? OP Honey, you dodged a bullet, 'cause they all seemed to have a touch of crazy.

  3. Maybe Tori was disgusted with the OP and sent him packing because he didn't try to make out with her in front of her brother. Perhaps Tori and the bro have some elaborate scheme set up where Tori starts getting cozy with a dude, brings up the belch bucket, bro comes out to empty it and then watches the sexy times.

    That's my working theory because the belch bucket thing is just so bizarre that I have to believe there's a grand purpose for it.

    1. I think you're on to something TDYK. Maybe it's like that Improv Anywhere stunt where at each stop on a subway people without any pants keep getting on; then at the last stop, a guy comes through selling pants.

  4. Sounds like there were some issues between the girl and her family and the OP just got caught up in it. Ah, well.

  5. Guys, she was embarrassed that she forgot to empty the Belch Bucket. No one wants to come down stairs with a big one brewing only to stick their face into a full bucket. Take it from me, we keep at least 3 Belch Buckets at my family's country house.

  6. I feel like there was a whole paragraph missing here.

  7. I also have a belch bucket outisde on the porch of my country house. It's between the puke pail and a fart bowl. Gotta do our part to help the depleting ozone layer.

  8. I think she left her mind and soul in that bucket.


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