I Had to Leaf

Story Sent in by Jacob:

After my first date lunch (that I paid for) with Sheila, she said "I have a fun idea. Let's go find a big leaf pile and jump in it!"

I liked the idea. "Okay. Where's a good place to look for a leaf pile around here?"

She replied, "I don't know. You're the guy. You figure it out."

That was a bit unnerving, but I thought of a place immediately: the local park. We went there together, and sure enough there were lots of leaves all around. However, there was one slight problem.

"They're not in a pile, but we can still have fun dancing around in them."

She said, "Uh... no thanks. I wanted to jump in a pile, not dance around like some retard."

"But there is no pile around here. Can't we just have fun in this?"

"I want a leaf pile. Figure it out," she said, "You're the guy."

I suggested, "We can grab handfuls of leaves and drop them into a big pile." I didn't think she'd go for that idea.

She said, "I'm not going to touch these leaves. You can rake them, can't you?"

Wouldn't you know it, I left my rake at home that day. I told her so, and she said, like she was talking to someone who didn't understand a word of English, "So let's go get one. You know, from a garden supply store?"

We went to a nearby hardware store and found rakes. I asked her, "Are you going to pay for it?"

She replied, "And why would I do that? Have you ever even been on a date before? How is it that you don't know how to treat a woman?"

"I paid for lunch. Why should I pay for the rake?"

"If you need me to answer that, then you have problems not even I can fix."

I said, "Wait right here," then I slipped out of the aisle, out of the store, and went home. Solved that problem.


  1. dodged a bullet there. Any woman who says "You're the guy" is trouble.

  2. Why are people trying to turn their lives into a crappy indie rom-com?

  3. i don't understand why the guy even went into the hardware store. She said before hand she wasn't touching the leaves!

  4. Well i'm glad the op clued in eventually...


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