Fertility Ritual?

Story Sent in by Marc:

Peggy and I were supposed to go to dinner, but when we met up, she said, "I have a better idea: let's go to the beach!" The closest beach to us was about 40 miles away, and as much as I liked spontaneity, I thought that an 80-mile round-trip to a beach on a first date (in separate cars, she insisted) wasn't the best plan.

When I told her that, she said, "Not the ocean beach! Here, follow me." She jumped into her car and I hurried into mine. She took off, and I followed her.

We wound up about two miles away, on the shore of a reservoir. She sat down on the grass, crossed her legs, and lifted her arms, as if someone had just made a touchdown.

It was a cloudless evening, and aside from all the bugs, it was pretty out. When I mentioned that to her, she said, "Shh," and maintained the same unusual position. I tried to make conversation a few more times, and each time was met with a "Shh," so I stopped trying.

She finally dropped her arms and shook them out. She said, "I'll meet you at the restaurant. There's something I have to do here. I won't be long."

I went to the restaurant, curious, but ultimately pleased that the date would hopefully be starting in earnest. I had almost made it there when she called my phone and I picked up.

"Come back!" she said, "I need you back here."

The first thing that flashed through my head was that someone had given her trouble. I asked, "Are you okay?"

She replied, "Yeah, but come back here. I forgot something."

He voice didn't sound frightened, but insistent. I turned around and went back to the reservoir. When I arrived, she was nowhere in sight. I looked around, called for her, and even called her phone. No reply. I waited for several minutes, tried her phone again, and then headed back to the restaurant.

After I had parked and had been waiting in the restaurant vestibule for any word from her, she called me. I told her that I'd be waiting for her in the restaurant, and that I wasn't planning to meet her anywhere else.

"That's fine, I'll be right there," she said, followed by something that sounded a lot like, "I just have to get the baster out of my ass."

She hung up before I could ask her to clarify. She never showed up, and I never heard from her again.


  1. You needed clarification?

    1. Well, it's kinda important to know which brand of baster she was using. That's a potential deal-breaker to some brand-loyal people.

  2. Sounds like she was seeing what the OP would put up with.

    Answer seems to be, a lot.

  3. OP was a little bit of a doormat

  4. "but ultimately pleased that the date would hopefully be starting in earnest"

    Desperation, when you hold me...


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