Don't Forget Your Meat

(Frighten the flawed - Embrace the Fear at Jared's Inkwell - JMG)

Story Sent in by Marlon:

After a string of uninspiring meet-ups, I found Ashley's profile online, and nearly fell over myself to write a message to her. Here's someone whose profile referenced my favorite musicians, authors, and childhood cartoons. I had to meet her.

Meet her I did. I took her out to a steakhouse that we both liked, and, from my point of view at least, everything seemed great. She ordered the grilled chicken salad, I ordered the prime rib with a side of vegetables, and we were gold.

We were both into photography, and were showing each other examples of our work (on our phones) when I told her that I had to use the bathroom and that I'd be right back. As I slid out of the booth, the waitress arrived with our dinners. I looked forward to having dinner and continuing the conversation with Ashley upon my return.

I walked into the men's room and hurried to the urinal, which was within sight of the door. As I did my business at the urinal, the bathroom door swung open. Ashley stood there with my prime rib dinner in her hand.

"Uh, what–?" was all I was able to choke out.

She said, "You forgot your meat!" then set my plate on the floor, shoved it toward me, such that its peas and carrots spilled all around, then turned and fled.

I picked up the plate at once, set it on the sink, then finished at the urinal, cleaned up the vegetables on the floor, washed my hands, grabbed the plate, and left.

I found a handwritten note on the table upon my return: "Sorry. Wanted chicken nuggets." I was stuck with the check for both of our meals, but as it didn't look like she had touched hers, I ordered it boxed up and had it for dinner the next night. As for Ashley, I never heard from her again.


  1. This one has got to have the most awesome rebuttal.

  2. How do peas and carrots flee?

  3. Did the OP not try giving the restaurant the name and number of his date? I've been reading the archives and apparently that's worked for other people who've had their dates ditch them.

    I don't know what would be in a rebuttal that would justify the bit in the bathroom even if the woman had a good reason to run from the OP.

  4. "Here's someone whose profile referenced my favorite musicians, authors, and childhood cartoons. I had to meet her."

    OP could try dating his left hand, too.


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