She Can't Hold a Candle

Story Sent in by Frank:

Lisa and I met online and I planned what I thought would be a fun first date, complete with dinner and a riverside walk to an annual event where people lit candles and put them on hundreds of little floats on the river. I'd been looking forward to it for a while.

A couple of hours before the date, Lisa called me and said, "Can we do something else?"

I didn't really want to do something else, but I asked her, "What did you have in mind?"

She replied, "Uh, that's your job to figure out."

I said, "But you don't want to see the candles in the river? Have you seen it before? It's beautiful."

She said, "You know what would be beautiful? A first date that doesn't take us to a stupid kiddie-playtime-Romper-Room event. That would be beautiful."

I replied, "But there are more adults there, usually, than children."

She said, "Figure something else out, or forget this whole thing. I'm serious."

I told her I'd call her back after I had thought of something, but honestly, there wasn't anything else that I really wanted to do. In fact, I was willing to postpone the date just to see the candles. As I said, I'd been looking forward to it, and Lisa's attitude wasn't helping me want to do anything else.

I called her back and said, "I really want to see the candles in the river, so maybe we can meet up after the event?"

She groaned, long and loud, into the phone, then said, "You're seriously going to go? I have to be honest, I can't really see myself wanting to go out with a guy who'd want to do that."


"And you're basically saying that you'd rather go to the event alone than see me."


"That's kind of a loser thing to do."

I repeated, "I'd be glad to see you right afterward. We can meet up for a later dinner, or–"

"No. Forget it. Enjoy your stupid candles." She hung up on me.

I left a little while later to go enjoy my stupid candles. It was really lovely, starting right at sundown. A couple of hundred people showed up, and hundreds of candles were lit and floated into the river in the mostly cloudless evening.

As I walked along the shore, snapping photos and looking around for people I knew, I saw Lisa walking and laughing with another guy. She and I hadn't met in person yet, but we had Skyped and I knew her voice pretty well. I thought about going up to her, but then wondered what good that would do. I was having a nice time. Why would I want to ruin it by including her? I ducked further into the crowd, and continued to enjoy my pleasant evening.


  1. No offense but that is a pretty fLAME first date.

  2. Wow, what a piece of work. It sounds to me like Lisa never had any intention of going out with the OP - she had simply set up another date with somebody else at the same place, and she wanted to minimize the chance of running into the OP there. If the OP had agreed to take her somewhere else, she would have agreed to meet him there and simply not have shown up.

    I think Lisa takes my vote for "most scummy ABCotD date of 2012."

    1. ^This. It seems like she was trying to be as bitchy as possible to make him call off the date.

  3. Sounds like my kind of date: romantic and free.

  4. OP dodged a candle.

    No extra points for letting her insult him 3 times in a row.

  5. It sounds to me like she found out that someone she had a crush on was going to be at the event, so she was trying to get the OP to take her somewhere else (albeit in a very stupid way) to avoid seeing the crush there. I bet when the OP refused, she simply decided "Fine, I'll go on my own and chat up the guy I REALLY like instead!"

    In any case, the OP is probably better off without her.

    1. Agreed ^^
      Kudos for the OP, just letting it pass and enjoying his evening instead of going for drama.

  6. Why would you give her so many opportunities to disrespect you? You should have wished her a nice life after the romper room comment.

  7. I agree that you shouldn't have kept trying to go out with her. There are tons of women who would have loved a date like that, including me. It would have been nice if you had confronted her, though. May have felt better than you might realize. Anyway, you sound like a romantic, OP, and I hope you find happiness.


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