Everybody Wines Alone

Story Sent in by Joshua:

Stephanie and I met at a local geology club outing. We were in a small group that explored a cave complex. We spent more time talking to each other than we did about rocks, and by the end of the excursion, I had her number and plans for a first date.

I took her out to a restaurant that I thought fitting: it had a downstairs eating area with one wall that was entirely natural rock. We sat at a table close to it and enjoyed conversation over glasses of wine.

It was after her second glass that she asked me, "Do you want to sleep with anyone in the rock club?"

Well, I kind of wanted to sleep with Stephanie, herself, but in the interests of decorum, I said, "No one immediately comes to mind, but I'd keep my options open." I meant to imply her by that last part. I wasn't sure if she'd pick up on it.

She said, "Liz wants to sleep with you."

Liz was in our club, and was in her early twenties. She was a know-it-all who found a way to twist every conversation into a discussion about how awesome she was. Not interested.

I said as much to Stephanie, "Liz isn't my type."

Stephanie said, "I figured. But I'm not your type, either."

Uh oh. "How can you be so sure?"

Stephanie laughed and said, "You don't understand. Liz isn't your type. I'm not your type. No one is your type. I don't want you to end up with anyone. Understand?"

"Not really."

She leaned in and cleared her throat. "I don't want you to end up with anyone. So I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that you don't."

I wasn't sure where this was coming from. Perhaps two glasses of wine were too much for her. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I'm going to probably die alone, and why should I be the only one?"

"I don't think you have to die alone."

She muttered something I couldn't hear, then stood up and said, "I'm going to go home to do that right now."

She swept out before I could say anything else. I hurried to slam a few bills on the table to pay for the drinks, and I ran outside, but she wasn't there.

After hearing those words, I knew I had to do something, but I didn't know her address. I called her number. No answer. I then called 911 and explained the situation. I gave them her number and name, in the hope that, if she actually was planning to do something, that somehow, the authorities would stop her. Maybe she was joking, maybe she was drunk, but it had all been so sudden and so bitter on her part, that I didn't want to take a chance.

She never came back to the geology club meetings afterward, but last I Googled her, she's alive, but living an hour away. I have no idea if there was an intervention or if she even needed one, but I stand by my decision to make the call.


  1. Sounds to me like Stephanie was already saddled with insecurity, or bad experiences, and her asking "who do you want to sleep with at the club" could only be answered one way by Joshua: "with you". Since he didn't do that, she started to flip out - and alcohol often exacerbates these situations.

  2. You sound like a really nice person, and you made the right call. And I agree with churro--she was really insecure and may have unintentionally set you up make her feel more insecure (seriously, how are you supposed to answer "who do you want to sleep with in the club?"). Either way, she was not in a position to date anyone and hopefully she's gotten some therapy or something since then.

  3. In a situation like that, I'd rather be the one who made an ultimately unnecessary call, than to do nothing and find out she wasn't simply being a drama queen. Good call.

  4. ^Team OP FTW.

    Although I'm not above suggesting she wanted to get stoned or get her rocks off.

  5. Hmmm... I'd love to see a rebuttal on this one. Something just doesn't quite ring 100% true.

  6. She was a know-it-all who found a way to twist every conversation into a discussion about how awesome she was. Not interested.

    When the OP says stuff like this, he just comes off as being very critical of others. I mean, sure, this is a bad dates website so criticizing your date is expected, but is it really necessary to be so dismissive of a random girl at the rock club? Particularly one who had a crush on him.

    If you view it in the context of the OP being a hypercritical ass, then Stephanie's comment "You don't understand. Liz isn't your type. I'm not your type. No one is your type. I don't want you to end up with anyone. Understand?" actually makes a lot more sense.

    Not that this is necessarily the right context, but it's a possibility. I'm leaning towards a 60% probability of the OPs story being true, with a 40% chance that a rebuttal would utterly debunk him.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.