Where Have You Bean?

Story Sent in by Darlene:

Robert and I had been on a few dates within the course of two weeks. One night, after a nice dinner out, he invited me to his place for dessert and a movie.

When we arrived at his place, he offered me a slice of blueberry pie and put on a pot of coffee. We ate the pie while sitting in his living room, and he departed for a moment to retrieve the coffee.

He returned to me with a mug full of... coffee beans. Coffee beans in water. They hadn't even been ground. Hmm.

I asked, with a smile, "Were you planning to grind the coffee?"

He took the mug from me and said, "Oh gosh, I'm sorry. Let me–I'll be right back."

He carried the mug back into the kitchen with him, and returned a moment later in his coat.

"I'll–I'll be right back," he said.

He was leaving me alone at his place? Where was he going? Before I could even make the words out (this was so fast and unexpected), he made for his door and left. I texted him, "Everything ok?" and he replied, "be right back."

I looked through his movie collection, browsed the books on his shelf, and sat back down. I then took a photography book from his shelf and flipped through it.

After I had flipped through five such books, it was about a half-hour later. I called him and he answered. I asked, "Coming back soon? Where are you?"

He said, "Oh, Darlene! I'm so sorry. I forgot. Listen, let me raincheck this. I'm–I'm out and–"

"You're not coming back? Are you serious?"

"Darlene? Hey, yeah, I'm having trouble hearing you. Just lock up the doorknob lock, I trust you. I trust you, Darlene. Just lock up and I'll catch up with you later on."

He hung up before I could say, "No you won't." As he asked, though, I locked up. Never saw him again after that nonsense.


  1. Obviously a mean person would have taken that opportunity to rob him blind. Of course that would have been very, very wrong, but there's plenty of non-destructive pranks you could have done.

    1). Switch all his DVDs/CDs to different cases.

    2). If he has any epic games like Skyrim or Fallout, dump all his equipment in a pit or something and then save. Be sure there's at least one earlier save so this isn't excessively cruel.

    3). An oldie but a goodie: put his toothbrush in the toilet. Take a pic. 2 months later, send him the pic.

  2. Wow he has balls hey... I mean, leave someone you don't know in your own space with your personal things... and then you ditch them and leave them there?

    #3 seems fitting in this sitiuation... good call Andrew.

  3. I like the Skyrim thing... BUT you need to dump his equipment in a pit, and then go 3000 miles away so he has NO chance of ever finding it again, Make sure the character is naked (Install the naked mod). Go to any homes he owns in skyrim, do the same with any stashed equipment and knock all his carefully placed books to the floor. Use a cheat to bring up the character editor and change his character to a female (if it is not already)

  4. Discuss: when a date goes south, as long as your safety or finances are not compromised you:

    A) bolt ASAP


    B) wait as long as you reasonably can for either maximum nuttiness or an explanation for your dear readers at ABCotD.

    I like B, and would gladly do it if I dated a nutbag. We'll never know what Robert's coffee issues were.

  5. wow.. at first I thought maybe he was just a bit awkward and went on a ''brb'' run for ground coffeee... but this turned out pretty weird. :3


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.