Something Blinks

Story Sent in by Ciara:

Nick and I were out to dinner on our first date, and he was very good at making eye contact with me. Too good. The guy practically stared at me the entire time, whether he was talking or not. Even when our food came, he spent more time watching me eat than looking at his own dinner as he ate, himself.

After I couldn't take it anymore, I said, "You sure do like to look at me." I hoped this would make him a bit more conscious of it.

Instead, he smiled and said, "Seven-hundred, twelve."

"Seven-hundred, twelve what?"

"Times you've blinked."

I blinked. Then again and again.

He grinned. "I'll keep count. Don't you worry."

I blinked super-fast, winked one eye, then the other, fast and alternately.

"Stop it," he said.

I didn't. He sat back and said, "Whatever. Those don't count since you're doing them on purpose."

"But I'm blinking, and at least one of these blinks is one that I need. And you're not counting it."

"Stop it," he said again, and that only made me blink faster. "Stop it now," he said again.

I went on for another few seconds, then stopped. "Wow," was all he said, and I was in silent agreement when he called the waitstaff over for the check, to bring the dinner to a hasty close.

He said a quick goodbye, and was off. I didn't expect to hear from him again, but he wrote me an email to explain that he thought I blinked too much and listed several health hazards that could result:


  1. "Blink once, you're dead. Blink twice, you're buried." - Æon Flux

  2. Studies show that women blink much more often than men.

  3. "Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good Luck." - Doctor Who

    1. I'm so glad someone said it. The Aeon Flux quote psyched me out.

      On a more relevant note: what do you think he meant by, "in prison eelids"?


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.