Pasta Testa

Story Sent in by Lester:

Connie and I had a date planned, which she called me to postpone because she said she was going to the hospital for something minor. I didn't press the issue, and a couple of weeks later, we finally met up over Italian dinner.

After some small talk, our dinners were delivered and she said, "You're probably wondering why I was in the hospital."

I replied, "You don't have to tell me. I'm glad it was just a minor procedure."

She said, "Procedure? No. Not that type of hospital. I committed myself to a mental hospital for a few days."

Feeling my interest in Connie automatically drop, I nonetheless gave her the benefit of the doubt. I asked, "Are you okay, now?"

She said, "Yeah, I am, thanks."


I went back to eating my chicken as if nothing was wrong, but she looked at me for a while, then blurted, "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

I replied, "You haven't said or done anything crazy to make me think that. You could've gone to the hospital for any number of reasons. That doesn't mean you're crazy. I'm just glad you're okay."

She said, "No, you're expecting me to do something insane. Like this."

She grabbed her side of spaghetti and tomato sauce and dunked it on her own head. She then puckered her entire face, held the bowl of spaghetti on her head, then stood up and made for the bathrooms with it.

When she didn't come back after around 15 minutes, I asked for the check, paid, and left.


  1. Waiting 15 minutes means you were there 16 minutes too long.

  2. ya know that theory that says that if you're sane enough to ask yourself the question "Am I crazy?" and check yourself in and try to get help, then you're not all that crazy to begin with, because a truly crazy person wouldn't have that presence of mind to do that?

    Yeah, well, people like this totally blow that theory out of the water.

  3. Please don't take it personally - it's not that your date ditched you. Probably she just had to get away before the mental hospital found out that she had escaped.

  4. All people named "Connie" are insane. Fact.

  5. Ah yes: the old 'Dump the guy by acting crazy and getting him to dump you' routine.


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