Bats and Balls

Story Sent in by Em:

Philip took me out to dinner for our first date and he sat next to me, as opposed to across from me. I asked him, "Wouldn't you rather sit across, so that we could see each other better?"

He replied, "But then I'd be further away from you, and I can see you just fine from here."

I let it lie. Perhaps he was just quirky that way.

Nope. As dinner went on, he slid closer to me until I had to ask him to stop. He did, and dinner went on.

After dinner, we walked down the sidewalk and he put his arm around me. I felt it was too early for that, and I pulled away. He asked, "This is a date, right?"

"A first date," I replied.

He put his arm around me again, and again, I pulled away. "Want to get dinner?" he asked.

"We just got dinner."

"It didn't really feel like it. You were pulling away from me the entire time. We need a redo."

"I think we need to go home."

He said, "Look, I'm sorry if I'm a bit awkward. Let me just–" and then he went to put his arm around me again, and this time pulled me in for a kiss.

I thrashed and spat full in his face. He let go of me, stared at me as if he was contemplating doing me harm, then wiped the spit off of himself and licked it off his hand.

"I'll consider that first base," he said, "Thank you."

I gave him the finger, said, "Then consider this a home run, asshole," and stormed back to my car.


  1. Replies
    1. And gentlemen are always chivalrous.

    2. I agree 100% with QoftUniverse!!!
      they should always...ALWAYS swallow!

  2. I wish that, once, we'd see a story like this where the girl says, "after I pushed him away from me, I started screaming, 'keep your hands to yourself, pig! get away from me!' at the top of my lungs. Five MMA-type guys stepped out of the restaurant and beat the pig to a pulp."

  3. I can think of at least 100 ways that OP could have handled that without being a giant assh*le herself. Spitting?!? The guy was too pushy, yeah, but OP's overreaction was totally out of line.

  4. Jill, I disagree. She reacted very strongly, possibly more strongly than necessary, but he was touching her without permission-- which technically constitutes assault. She did what she needed to do to get out of the situation. Bravo.

    1. He tried to put his arm around her--he didn't grab her crotch or rip her clothes. Spitting in someone's face is more of an assault than what this guy tried. Saying, "I told you NO!!!" and walking away would've worked. He was clueless, but he didn't attack her. OP is a jerk.

  5. Spitting is fine. The guy obviously had problems understanding that she didn't want to get physical with him - why not put it to him on terms he can understand? I doubt calmly explaining herself while he was pawing her was going to help.

    Grabby guys don't deserve to be treated with any more respect than they're giving when they touch women against their will.

  6. I agree with the OP. The guy was touching her without her wanting to. She is entitled to defend herself and get him away from her. So short of pulling out a knife or gun, basically anything goes

  7. As somebody who has done volunteer work in an operating room, let me tell you - there are PLENTY of viruses transmissible through spit. That's why kissing is such a gesture of trust. For example, if he had one of the more infectious forms of hepatitis, that kiss could have shaved a decade of her lifespan, and greatly reduced her quality of life for much longer. Honestly, I would back OP even if she had tasered the guy. This kiss was not just a privacy issue - it was a potentially dangerous assault on her health, and she was perfectly entitled to respond with force.

  8. I read it like this. The OP was on the conservative/ prudish side and really wasn't that into the date in the first place. The date was forward and was commenting as he was because he was frustrated at her lack of receptivity and lack of comfort.

    As far as his offense, while he did cross her comfort barrier, what he did was somewhat mild and definitely not spit worthy. She could have just ended the date with "I'm not comfortable with this" or "I'm sorry, but I don't think this is working out"


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