Hoo Goes There?

Story Sent in by Patrick:

Melanie and I had met on a dating site and we went out to dinner together for our first date. To my recollection, nothing stood out as out of the ordinary, and it went well enough for me to want to ask her out again. After the date I went home and eventually went to bed.

At two in the morning, my phone rang. It was Melanie. I answered it. She asked, "Hello? Is this my boyfriend?"

"Uh, it's Patrick. Are you okay?"

A long pause, and then, "Huh? Is this my boyfriend?"

"It's Patrick, Melanie. Did you have a bad dream or something?"

Another long pause, then she hung up. It was creepy, but I was soon afterward absorbed back into sleep.

A half-hour later, my phone rang again. I picked it up. It was Melanie. She said, "Hooooo. Hoooooo? Hoooooo."

"I'm going back to bed, Melanie. We'll talk later." I hung up and put my phone on silent.

In the morning, I saw that she had called twice more. I decided to wait a day or two to call her back, and when I finally did, she told me, "Hey Patrick. Look, you're a nice guy, but I'm going to go out with someone else as my boyfriend. His name is Ron and he owns a car."

"I own a car."

She hung up.


  1. And by "dating site" he means "Myspace."

    And by "Melanie" he means "13 year old."

  2. And my bad dream she meant gay experience? I'm no good at this!!

  3. It was a test. If someone asks "is this my boyfriend" you say "yes!" Or face the wrath of Gozer. Since he didn't claim to be her boyfriend, she had to move on.

    My best guess for this kind of behavior is always someone was trippin. It's gotta be the drugs, right?

    1. Yeah, I'm going to second the drugs.

    2. I agree with Lime-Coco. Women overcompensating for low self-esteem often "test" men or require men to "win" them over. It's a sucker's game because the "test" or "courtship" never ends - they'll keep doing it to you every time they feel insecure. Notice how Melanie describes her other boyfriend to try and make the OP feel inadequate (and then hangs up when it doesn't work)? That's because she felt rejected by his refusal to say "Yes, I'm your boyfriend."

      This is the type of crazy person that expresses her attraction to one guy by dating one of his friends just to make him jealous. Patrick dodged a major bullet.


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