You Can Turn Anything into Gold

Story Sent in by Sean:

Chelsea and I had sat down to dinner at a cafe on our second date. She had a stupendous sense of humor, and spent about as much time laughing as talking.

Not long before dinner was served, she was in the middle of telling me a story about an acting gig she had when she was five, when all of a sudden, her face froze: her eyes went wide and she stopped talking.

Thinking that it was another joke, or perhaps part of the story, I smiled at her, but she sat up, did a wiggle, muttered, "Oh..." then slowly stood and said, "Be right back."

She wasn't right back. While she was gone, our dinners were served. I became concerned for her and called her cell once or twice. No response. I told myself that I'd wait another five minutes before searching.

She returned to the table before then. Her hair was a bit of a mess, and in place of the black and beige skirt she had on before, she was wearing jogging pants.

"Sorry," was all the explanation that she gave me, and out of courtesy, I didn't ask her for any more details.

I might have forgotten the entire thing. However, we've since married each other, and just last week, we were at a small get-together with friends, trading embarrassing stories about ourselves.

Imagine my surprise when she told the tale of how, on our second date, she accidentally crapped in her pants.


  1. So, so wrong. Yet somehow lovely.

  2. This should go down in the dating hall of fame!!

    I guess what they say is true, when they're the one it doesn't matter what they do. Lol

  3. You know that if you are with her in your golden years, you'll be changing her shitty diapers.
    I heard when a guy shits when he farts it's a 'shart'
    But when a girl does it, it's part poo and part toot, so a "Poot" Sounds much cuter. I guess.

  4. This is why we need star ratings..

    1. There are star ratings, right beneath labels. Try reloading. They show up sporadically on Firefox, for some reason.

  5. That's romantic, in a Farrelly Brothers sort of way

  6. BAHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahha Oh God, I just snorted water up my nose at work and had to explain to a coworker what was going on. This is tupping brilliant.


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