Voice of Unreason

Story Sent in by Nanci:

Not long after high school, Theo and I met online. We spoke by email and text, but somehow or other never by phone, right up until we met. I guess I was expecting him to call me after giving him my number, but he never did.

When we met up in person, though, I learned that perhaps that had been a mistake. We met outside of a restaurant and exchanged first greetings. He noticeably cringed.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

He asked, "Is that your real voice? I mean, seriously? That's your voice?"

I was taken aback: no one had ever mentioned a problem about my voice before. Heck, I was never even teased about it, and like a lot of people, I was teased in school. If my voice was ridiculous to anyone, I truly think I would've found out by that point. Then again, who knows?

"Yes, this is my voice. Is it… is it okay?"

He gave some rueful laughter then said, "Yeah, I… okay, yeah, let's just go inside."

At the dinner table, he cringed, no joke, every time I opened my mouth to say something. He then graduated to covering his ears each time I spoke. That prompted me to say, "What's your problem?"

He took his hands away from his ears. "It's just your voice. I just can't take it. It's–"

"No one else seems to have a problem with it. It's a normal voice."

"Oh my God!" he shrieked, then banged his head twice against the table, put his hands to his head, and said, "I can't take it! Mrrraaaagggh!" and ran out of the restaurant, sticking me with the check.

He wrote me an apology text an hour later, asking me where he could leave me the money for dinner. I had him leave me an envelope in my mailbox, and I never contacted him again.


  1. "Is that my voice? Is that MY voice?"

  2. After reading a few of these stories here, it seems to me that this guy purposely avoids talking on the phone so he can use this "voice" line as a cop-out to squirm out of a date.

  3. Yeah, I think the voice complaint was just his boneheaded way of getting out of the date. Even the jerkiest jerk will go far out of their way to avoid admitting they're disappointed in a date's looks, and I think Theo just picked a really bizarre and lame way of going about it.

  4. TheGnome, I LOVE that movie! Yzma is awesome.

  5. BUT!!! He paid for his half of the dinner!! That's almost unheard of by abcotd standards!

  6. Totally watched The Emperor's New Groove at about 2:00 AM January 1st, 2012.

    That's how I roll.

  7. She should have just left straight away.

    Instant answer: 'is this your actual personality? it really sucks!'


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