That Does Make Things Clearer

Story Sent in by Patrick:

Mia and I had a date all planned out: dinner at an Indian restaurant. I arrived there on time, sat at a booth, and waited for her, facing the door.

When she arrived, she strode up to the table without sitting down and said, "So I've had some second thoughts about tonight."

We had been messaging online for over two weeks. I said, "Are you serious? I've really been looking forward to it. What's wrong?"

She said, "I can't say for certain, but perhaps this will make things clearer. Wait here for about 10 minutes. I promise I'll be back."

"Mia, what–?" I started, but she left the restaurant. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and waited there until she came back, roughly 10 minutes later. She carried a folded brown paper grocery bag with her.

Without sitting and barely looking at me, she unfolded it and opened it up. There was, in pen, a hand-drawn, angry face on a blank side of it. She positioned it on the table so that it would be facing me, and without uttering a single word, she left again, and this time, I guessed, it was for good. I never spoke to her again.

Here's a neato article from The Huffington Post about the compulsion to cheat. Food for thought!


  1. She could've saved you 10 minutes and arrived with the bag. Even so, the sketch would've taken about 10 seconds. Learn to know when someone's about to hose you and give them 10 seconds, not 10 minutes.

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  3. Ha! Mia sounds kind of awesome.

    OP, she made this incredibly clear, and I find it hard to believe you still don't get it. The paper bag indicates that you're ugly, the angry face indicates that she was upset that your online pictures were misleading, and her leaving demonstrated that she didn't feel it was worth getting into a long argument with you about how you misled her. Honestly, this is brilliant - I've sat through some painful dates in the past and Mia's method of dealing with it would have been so much simpler.

    My advice to you is to post more realistic pictures of yourself when you date online. Sure, you may get fewer responses, but the responses you get will be people who are genuinely attracted to you. Otherwise, this kind of experience will keep happening - except that most women won't tell you what's wrong: they'll just sit through the painful date and then say they "didn't feel a connection." Mia not only did you the favor of identifying your problem: she also did it without unnecessarily wasting your time or money. (Or hers.) I can totally respect that.

  4. AAAAHHHHHAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA...(breathes).....AAAAHHHAAAHHAAHHHAAAH! and that's all i've got to say about that! :P

  5. actually, i will say more. OP, i feel sorry for you, but i don't know how you DIDN'T see that (or something LIKE that) coming. your first (and what should have been the ONLY one you needed) clue was
    "So I've had some second thoughts about tonight."
    those words are truely an "uh oh" moment. i can't say i blame you for wanting to find out details as to WHY (i've been naive/stupid before, too), especially if communication had been strong for 2 weeks, but, sometimes life craps on you like that, and i have to say i agree with everything dave & wolfie said...

  6. Her one comment that does irk me was "I can't say for certain but..." followed by her being extremely clear

  7. This is the difference between a men and women. If a girl brings a paper bag, she's rejecting him. If a guy brings a paper bag, he is hoping for faceless "sexy time"

  8. @ Numbers: I think that comment of hers was a response to the OP's "What's wrong?", which she didn't clearly answer at all.

  9. Hey! At least she came back when she said she would, right?! And at least she showed up to the date in the first place! Points for Mia!

    ...yes, this blog has drastically lowered my standards for what passes as civility in the dating world.

  10. Hahaha. You guys are so much smarter than I am. I had no freakin clue what was going on, thank you for illuminating the possibilities (for hilarity).

  11. She wasn't ditching him, she wanted him to ask her to a movie, but was hinting that he should look it up on Fandango first.

    Duh, get a clue!

  12. I too was enlightened by this paperbag experience
    .. totally didn't get it first off Haha


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