Although I've Since Been Bent into Thirds

Story Sent in by Barry:

It wasn't my date with Elena that went wrong. It was the aftermath. I met her online, all seemed fine, we went out to a museum and then dinner. She had a great laugh, we both talked quite a bit, and just after we hugged goodbye, I slipped in a, "I'd like to see you again."

She replied, "You bet your ass you are," and we went on our separate ways. A hug was as far as I got, but I still felt great, and I couldn't wait to see her again.

A day later, I called her and left her a message that was something like, "Hey Elena, I had a great time with you. I have some ideas for what we can do next week, if you're around."

About a week passed from when I left that message, and there was no response from her. Guessing that she didn't have as good a time as I thought she did, I wrote her an email that essentially said, "Hi Elena. I hope that you're well. If you ever want to meet again, then let me know."

No response for a day, and then I received the following message:

"Barry: Do NOT keep contacting me. My boyfriend was able to tell that there was something wrong, and I told him that you tried to make me cheat on him. What you were thinking, I'll never know, but it was all I could do to not tell him where you live. Because you contacted me again, I'm giving him your email address. I hope that he's merciful to you."

A day later, the following arrived from an email address I didn't recognize:

"How about if I find you and bend you in half for taking my girlfriend out you piece of shit?"

I didn't respond and hoped that it would all blow over. It's been a year since then, and no one has so far come to bend me in half.


  1. If I was you, I would have sent him the email exchanges from when you two set up the date.

    1. I'm with Baku on the follow up action for this one, if I accept that the boyfriend exists anyway. It doesn't make sense to be mad at someone for "taking my girlfriend out" - how about be mad at the girlfriend for going on a date? But then, people do stuff that doesn't make sense all the time, most of them on this website, so he's probably real :\

    2. Should have replied OP, would have been hilarious. Also if she could have told her boyfriend where you lived I have to assume you told a stranger on the internet where you lived. Bad idea.

  2. ^ that exactly

  3. The most likely explanation is that she really didn't have a good time and figured that this was the best way to tell you to back off. Some folks just prefer to overcomplicate things.

  4. You could have had all kinds of fun with that. Everything from...

    "Which boyfriend are you? Elena said she had like 4 of them"

    ...all the way to...

    "There's no need to get threatening, I don't want to see her again anyway. She wouldn't shut up all night about how her current boyfriend had a tiny dick and can't satisfy her."

    I just can't imagine wasting a perfect setup like that, it's so ripe with potential.

    1. Meh, too try hard. I think your "which one are you?" would have worked best. Subtle and without any obvious ill-intent.

      Having said that, I'm not sure I would have sent that email at all if I were in OP's position. Just the voice mail message would have been enough.

  5. I tend to shy away from taunting crazy people, particularly those threatening to reshape my body into an origami masterpiece.

    1. Thank you. My thoughts exactly.

      Far too often, I find myself exclaiming out loud, "What the fuck is WRONG with people?!" while reading the stories on this website. How I haven't started picking people off with a sniper rifle is beyond me. Somehow, I've managed to maintain my faith in the goodness of humanity, no matter how vehemently Jared tries to beat it out of me.

  6. I'm thinking "cuckolding fetish". Words I only know to put together because of the Savage Love podcast, wow is that thing educational.

  7. I vote for the "Which one are you?" It would have been perfect.

  8. It bet there is no boyfriend. She probably made an email address like BigBruiser62@blahblah.com just to get rid of people she no longer wanted to deal with.

    She could be the classic dinner wh0re/ego sponge, who dates lots of guys, and dismisses them after she has no more use for them. Phase 1 is to ignore their call(s). Phase 2, should it escalate, it to pull out the fake boyfriend email.

    And WTF, why would she know your home address after 1 date?


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