Mystery Mutt

Email Sent in by Jeff:


Did you put a new collar on my dog? I was walking her just now and noticed that her collar was black and not her usual red one. I live on my own and the dog could not have put it on herself. The only thing I can think of is that you somehow got my address and did it. I know you know about my dog and it appeared on her after I told you the neighborhood I lived in too much of a coincidence to have been anyone/anything else. Not sure how you got into my apt but please stay out forever from now on or I will call the cops.


(Jeff says: "Matilda and I had traded messages for one week, but she and I had never met before.")


  1. "the dog could not have put it on herself."

    It makes me smile to think that Matilda may very well have stared at her dog in amazement for a good 30 minutes, trying to figure this out.

  2. Matilda,

    That's a different dog. Coincidence?


  3. Just one more reason people should have a license to breed.

  4. You know, Jeff didn't tell us whether or not he actually did re-collar her dog. You don't have to meet her to get in and change the pooch's wardrobe.

  5. "[B]ut please stay out forever from now on or I will call the cops."

    This is the main message she wanted to convey here. She was probably just disinterested in him for a multitude of possible reasons, and this was her way of getting rid of him. Just another person who doesn't know how to properly reject someone.

    Am I the only one that thinks that??

  6. I think that's the first thought regular commenters go to when they see shit like this. But, for me at least, I've refrained from posting a comment saying as such in the interest of mixing it up a bit and thinking of something new.

    Which is why I'm wondering why Matilda's so quick to discount her dog's ability to dress itself. I'm sure the dog doesn't accuse its dates of dressing Matilda. For shame.


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