Maybe She Thought You Asked, "Have Any Regrets?"

Story Sent in by Robert:

Whitney and I were scheduled to meet for dinner for a first date. She called me on the night of our date in hysterics: "I can't go anywhere! My sister's on a rampage and I have to deal with it!"

I asked, "What do you mean?"

Whitney explained, "She saw a picture of a tuba in one of her magazines, she asked my mom for a tuba, and when mom said she couldn't have one, she threw a tantrum. She's screaming so hard, she's coughing up blood! I have to go."

"I–okay," I said. What else could I say? Whitney hung up, and I resigned myself to an evening of home cooking and A-Team reruns.

Less than an hour later, Whitney called, far calmer, and asked, "Are you still up for going out? Sorry about that."

Back to excitement mode. I reached for my shoes. "Sure. Is everything okay?"

One shoe on. I waited for Whitney's reply. There was silence. Had my phone dropped the call? I checked. Full bars of cell service. "Hello?" I asked into the phone, "Whitney, can you hear me?"

No reply. Perhaps it was her phone that dropped the call. I turned off the TV, threw my attempted dinner into the fridge, and hung up the phone. I called her right back. She picked up, but didn't say anything. "Hello?" I repeated, "Whitney? Is everything okay?"

She replied, in a low, almost robotic voice, "Ask Pippa Middleton in 10 years."


So overwhelmed was I by this unexpected answer and hang-up that I didn't call her back. Clearly, something was wrong, and I awaited a call, an email, or a text to explain what was going on.

None ever came.


  1. Huh? I don't get it... I guess she just wanted to keep waving the proverbial carrot in front of your face, with no intentions of ever actually meeting. I don't get how that hottie Pippa Middleton comes into play, though...

  2. She did you a HUGE favor, as she is clearly bonkers, as is her family, apparently.

    Pippa is hot, but doesn't seem to be insane. Not sure how she fits. Another sign Whitney is deranged.

    1. Is she supposed to be Pippa in this scenario? Is Kate supposed to be the crazy one? I'm not sure.

  3. The low robotic voice was obviously her sister, who she'd just been murdered by.

  4. This is about as obvious a case of just messing with you as they get. She probably had a handful of friends around the phone, stifling giggles. The Pippa Middleton thing was probably some inside joke that others in the room would have gotten.

  5. Maybe she was comparing Kate and Pippa. Pippa might be famous now, but she'll never be able to top marrying Prince William, like her older sister did. Whitney could just be feeling overshadowed.

    Still, it's a strange way to behave.

  6. I'm with Fodder. I as thinking it was because Pippa's the sister of a princess. It's kind of a weak connection, though.

  7. You guys Pippa is obviously being held ransom for a tuba, and they're not picky about how long it takes to get said tuba. Sound the alarm.


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