Blaze of Inglory

Story Sent in by Tina:

I used to be way more into the local band scene than I am now, and one of the experiences that helped sour me on it all was my time with Ed. He was the frontman for a popular local group in my city, and they booked regular, weekly gigs. He and I met online, and I started to attend his shows.

He took me out on a few dates, and soon made it clear that he was interested in me as more than a friend. He was attractive, talented, and had some solid business acumen to boot. I thought I was lucky.

He and I had planned to go out on a rare Saturday night wherein he didn't have a booking. Less than an hour before he was due to pick me up, he called to tell me that there was a last-minute booking opportunity and that he wanted to take it.

I knew that the band was important to him, and he and I hadn't been dating for too long, so I told him, "That's fine. I'll come to your show. We can postpone the date but maybe grab a drink after the show."

He then uncharacteristically said, "Maybe you shouldn't come."

I asked, "Why not? I love watching you guys."

He replied, "I just don't need you bitter and nasty over this."

"Uh... I'm not either. I offered to watch you perform. Raincheck on the date. It's really okay."

Then he laughed into the phone and finally said, "Sure, whatever. Come if you want to."

I did. It was a sizable crowd. When his group started with their first song, I'm not sure what it was, but his playing, his singing... it was off. It was as if he had already had a few drinks before stepping onstage.

Then, at the end of his second song, he pointed to a girl in the crowd who wasn't me. He said, into his microphone, "Oh my God... you are so beautiful. Who the hell are you?"

If she answered, I didn't hear her. Ed asked, "You here alone?"

Then, I heard a girl's voice answering back, "Here with my boyfriend."

"Fuck him," Ed said, "You are the most beautiful piece of any ass that I've ever seen. Come on up here, love."

Some laughter in the crowd. None came from me. Ed went on, "I said, come on up here. I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget."

Mercifully, one of Ed's band mates commandeered the microphone away and said, "Give us five, folks." He put an arm around Ed and pulled him away.

Ed shoved the guy, then turned, leaped off the stage, and fought his way through the crowd towards where I guessed the other girl was. There was a scuffle, some shouts, that band mate jumped into the fray, fought his way to Ed, and then one of the bouncers became involved, and the other attendees backed away towards the walls, and the last I saw of Ed was him being dragged out to a side door by a bouncer and some other guy.

Ed's band completed a set without him, then, at the end of it, the band mate from before apologized to the crowd on Ed's behalf, and they packed up.

I thought about trying to find Ed after the show, but instead I went home.

He called me the next morning. "Good thing you weren't there last night," he said, "There was almost a riot."

"Oh, I was there," I said.

"You were?" he asked, "Are you sure? I didn't see you."

"Yeah. I'm sure. I was... a little surprised at how you acted. Were you—"

He hung up. That was that.


  1. "Actually, I'm not sure. It's entirely possible that I was on a spacecraft to Mars at the time and not really at your show at all. Let's say I'm... 60% certain that I was at your show?"

  2. "He took me out on a few dates, and soon made it clear that he was interested in me as more than a friend."

    Maybe I'm just playing with semantics here, but wouldn't you know from the FIRST date that he was interested in you? Who takes friends on dates?

    He wanted to bang a groupie until he found a hotter groupie.

  3. Typo in the next to last line: we're = were.

    That said, I wonder if he makes a habit of doing that. Apparently all his previous dates had become bitten and nasty after seeing him drunkenly hitting on random crowd girls. Surely the problem is with the women.

  4. Ankh, I am forced to agree. The common element here is SURELY all the different women, and his behavior has nothing to do with how people react to him. After all, bitches be crazy, amirite?

  5. OK, first of all, the guy is a douchebag - no question there. I think that's one thing that we can all agree on unequivocally.

    That said, my own personal experience makes me want to express a little skepticism about the OPs story. Most of the girls I know who've dated band members (particularly frontmen) typically are attracted to the status of dating somebody with a (relative) amount of fame, then get shocked when they find the guy is cheating on them. (Because the hilarious thing about groupies is that they never seem to REALIZE they're just groupies.) So I can't help wondering if this is simply a case of a groupie getting a rude awakening as to her actual status in the relationship, like Steve said.

    Granted, I don't have any solid evidence, but it's just this nagging feeling based on hard to quantify things, like the way the OP mentions Steve's looks, talents, and business sense, but nothing about his personality or anything that indicates he ever had any actual concern for her.

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  7. Because being a frontman gives you a free pass to behave like asshat?

    She met him on a dating site so I wouldn't classify her as a groupie Wolfie. Not that it matters - groupies are people too.

  8. No, not at all. The dude was definitely an asshat - no doubt about it. My question is whether the OP was entitled to expect better. I disagree somewhat with your assertion that groupies are worthy of being treated with the same respect as classier woman. When a woman objectifies a man (whether it's a groupie who dates a guy because he's frontman for a band, or a gold-digger who's interested in a guy because he's really wealthy) then that specific woman has absolutely no right to complain if she herself is objectified in turn. Obviously there are qualifiers there, since we ALL objectify to a limited degree. Just as I wouldn't date a woman who was absolutely hideous, I wouldn't judge a woman for refusing to date a guy who was habitually unemployed or living in a tent. Does that makes me shallow? I don't know.

    You make an excellent point about her meeting him online (hence less likely to be a groupie scenario) - and since we're unlikely to ever hear a rebuttal, I suppose I'd have to give the OP the benefit of the doubt. I just wanted to express that I'm a little suspicious, that's all. Something about the way the OP wrote the story makes me feel that she wasn't particularly interested in Ed's personality when she started dating him.

  9. Wofdream, you are somewhat of an idiot. As someone who dates someone in a band (and has done for 3 years) we can all tell the difference between the girlfriends and the groupies.

    This girl is obviously NOT a groupie. She didnt meet him whilst hanginmg beside a stage door. Just becuase she enjoys going to his gigs and is supportive, doesn't make her a groupie. I would also negate the 'tone' of her story implying that she wasn't interested in his personality. It sounds like they were early stages of dating so she's obviously not declaring her love of him. She did note that he was switched on enough to have good business acumen so there was obviously a broader attraction.

  10. ^ There's no need to be rude. If you'll read what I wrote more carefully, I already SAID I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. I just feel like the tone and the way it's written entitle me to have reservations about it.

  11. Very interesting. It's like he pre-planned to be fucked up for this one show...or maybe he was messed up because it was last minute? But that wouldn't make sense 'cause he had a date planned. Weird.

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