Which Wetpart Don't You Understand?

Email Sent in by Claire:

You want to tell me what the hell it means on your profile when you say that you want to be friends first? As opposed to buckets of sex and then whoopsy daisy! guess we forgot to be friends in all of that! I always thought that being friends was automatic…. not sure what planet you're from.

I plan on being friends but it's unavoidable if you go into something romantically with someone. You kiss, guess what you're firends. You rip off clothes guess what you're friends. You do that bed shaking horizontal salsa dance of sliding wetparts, guess what? you're firends! Willing or not you are firends so duh yes.

How do you define freinds, then? People to play checkers/shuffleboard with on rainy days down at old folks' home? Then find an old friend whose wetparts do not no longer work they will be friends. you are on this site to make friends but also more than friends wtf.



  1. I feel no need to be friends, firends, or feinds with Dennis. Let alone more than friends, firends, or feinds with him. But then, I guess I'm picky like that.

  2. Oh come on, Agnes, all you have to do is show him your wetparts and *bam* you're his best feriend for liefe!

  3. Did anyone notice that "Willing or not you are firends" part? Sounds like Dennis is the kind of guy who commits date-rape, then is like "Awesome, now we're friends! BFFs forever!"

    Or firends, as the case may be.

  4. Wolfdreams - I think he ensures that you stay freends forever by cutting off the wetparts and nailing them to his bedroom ceiling.

  5. Jesus christ now I can't remember how to properly spell friends!

    I've heard of I before e but I've never heard of i before r...

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  8. ^ That's not true! His palm is his best friend, and I heard they share EVERYTHING. ;-)


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