Stealers Meal

Story Sent in by Martin:

I was out to dinner with Dana on our first date. Our food hadn't arrived yet, and I excused myself to use the bathroom.

When I returned, our orders were at the table, but my food was in front of Dana. I reached for my order. She slid it back toward herself.

"I think that's mine," I said, thinking that she had made a simple mistake.

In response, she stuck out her tongue and made a raspberry all over the food. Flecks of spit flew everywhere.

Once she was done, she looked at me, as if seeking approval. I said, "Wow. What was that for?"

She replied, "Did I tell you that I won second place in a charity race last week?"


"It was for charity."

"Is that why you just took my order."

She pointed at the plate in front of me, what she had ordered. "You can still eat that."

"I can, but I didn't order it, and I don't get why you—"

She leaned in and said, "I'm going to level with you. I can run fast, which is why I brought up the race. If you try to chase me, you won't be able to."

I tried to work through her logic, then sat back and said, "I don't think I'll be chasing you. Have no fear."

"You really are just like my dad. Like, exactly. You are paying for this, right?"

I had initially planned to, but that stopped seeming like a good idea. "Probably not."

She then laughed at me and said, "Oh my God. Exactly like my dad. So funny!"

She hardly ate anything, and I went ahead and finished the meal that was in front of me. She gave me dirty looks for the rest of dinner, and only spoke up when the bill came.

"So you're seriously not paying?"


"Damn it!"

We paid, we left, we never contacted each other again.


  1. Bullet dodged.

    Some women do that just to see if their date will flip out. These are the sort of women that you generally don't want to be with, as they're selfish entitlement whores who think coming in second is something to be proud of.

  2. Man, way to stand up for yourself, when a date takes and spits all over your food you don't just accept it and eat something you didn't order, you leave there and then. No need to waste your time with someone like that.

  3. I'm with Ashley. I would have walked out and stuck her with the bill.

  4. Eh, I think he did OK. Walking out might be emotionally gratifying, but there's very little chance she would actually pay (she'd probably just sneak out too), and it would be mean to punish the restaurant or the wait staff for him choosing a bad date.

  5. ^I'm not too broken up about a restaurant being out $30-40 bucks, and that's only if she didn't pay.

  6. ^ I've heard that some restaurants actually make the waitstaff pay for stiffed meals. If this is the case, you might actually be taking money out of their pocket rather than the restaurant's.

  7. ^What Baku said. Being a waiter/waitress is hard enough already; they shouldn't have to take the collateral damage from somebody else's failed date on TOP of that.

  8. ^It must depend on the country, because here in Canada, no waiter/waitress would pay for a stiffed meal.


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