Quitters Sometimes Win

Story Sent in by Abe:

I quit smoking after my first year of college, but before then, I was out on a first date with Lois. We were walking through town, not far from the college, and I was smoking. Once I was done with the cigarette, I tossed it into one of those receptacles specifically made for disposing of cigarette butts.

Lois stopped short and stared at me. "What are you doing?" she asked.


She made a beeline for the receptacle and did her best to fish my tossed cigarette out of it. I said, "What are you doing? That's sick."

She yelled, "You'll cause a fire! Are you completely thoughtless?"

I pointed to the cigarette symbol atop the bin. "This is made for throwing out cigarettes! Get away from it!"

She shook the bin several times, then screamed at it and nearly kicked it over.

"Come on," I implored, "Let's just go."

She followed me away from it and said, "You're still thoughtless. I can't believe you."

"How am I thoughtless?"

She replied, "You figure it out. I'm not telling you."

I said, "If you're playing a game with me, then date over."

She laughed and said, "You wouldn't dare."

I said, "Good night," and walked away quickly. She chased after me, and so I turned to her and yelled at her to back off.

She rang my phone constantly over the next week, but the best was when she texted me that she had recovered my cigarette from the bin: "Before the guy came to empty it!" she wrote, "I got it back for you! Let's organize a time for me to give it back to you."

That never ended up happening.


  1. She clearly identified waaaaay too much with that anti-forest fire bear.

  2. Ah the old "I'm not telling you if you don't know" game.

  3. It's appropriate here, Bitches Bee Crazy

    I also like how she says "you wouldn't dare" at the thought he could end the date with her. I'm really enjoying the entitled people we've been having the past few weeks

  4. Those "guilt-tripping" arrogant people, are my hobby..I like to make them feel so horrible and embarrassed :D


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