10/21/2011

Handyman

Story Sent in by Vivian:

I met Jordan at a house party that some mutual friends threw. He and I became acquainted, and I gave him my number. He was a little quiet, but he was very nice to me and a good listener. This was during the summer, so there were a lot of parties going on, and there happened to be another one that following week, to which both of us had again been invited.

He called me up a day after that first party to ask me if, the day of the next party, I wanted to meet up for dinner and go together to the gathering. I told him that I did.

Dinner was awkward beyond belief. The first thing he asked me (after, "Do you use hair extensions?" - I don't) was, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No," I asked, then teased him, "Do you?"

He didn't roll with it. "No. I'm straight, but no girlfriend. Do you want a boyfriend?"

I replied, "I'm playing it by ear, I suppose. No rush. Are you actively looking for someone?"

He picked up his spoon and looked at it. "You could be my girlfriend."

I laughed, "We haven't even had one complete date yet."

"Will you hold my hand at the party?"

"No."

And so on. It didn't seem like he meant me any harm, but I questioned whether or not he had ever been on a date before in his life, or at least when his last one was.

The party was a little less than a mile away from where we had dinner, and so we decided to walk there. He kept bumping his hand into mine as we walked and at one point actually interlaced his fingers with mine.

"Too fast," I said, moving my hand away, "Slow it down."

"Whatever," he said, a hint of anger in his voice.

We made it to the party, and as soon as we walked in, he grabbed my hand tight and swung our arms up together.

"I win!" he bellowed loudly to the room full of people, over the music, "Girlfriend!"

"Let go of me!" I yelled, and ripped my hand away. He went for my hand again, and I moved into the crowd.

A guy I didn't recognize stepped between Jordan and I and said to Jordan, "Let me get you a beer, man."

Jordan followed the guy to the kitchen, where presumably he drank beer. He didn't say another word to me for the rest of the night, although I didn't stay long. I was afraid that he'd have some other outburst.

He sent me a drunk text at 3am that read, "so drunk that I forgot to pinch your ass! where are u?"

I didn't respond. A week later, he texted, "be right there."

Thank goodness, I never saw him again.

4 comments:

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  2. Well, it's not like the guy has any clue of how to behave in the first place.

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