Mail and Female

Story Sent in by Marc:

Brianna and I had been out on two dates prior, and everything seemed nice and normal. She was in marketing for a media company, although her particular focus was magazine work. For our third date, I invited her over to my house, where I planned to cook her dinner.

Dinner went well, and I suggested that we watch a film together. She excused herself to my upstairs bathroom, and I cleaned up a bit while she was doing her business.

When she didn't return after 15 minutes, I went to check on her. The bathroom door was closed but I could see that the light was on within. I knocked and asked if she was okay. No answer. I knocked again and called her name.

"Here I am!" she said, from the direction of my bedroom.

I entered my bedroom and found her standing there, doing nothing at all. I asked her, "What's going on?"

She said, "I just… I wanted to just give myself a quick… tour. Is that okay? I'm sorry."

I replied, "Of course, that's fine. I set up a movie downstairs. Are you done in the bathroom?"

She shook her head. "No. I haven't even gone yet. I left the light on to remind me. I'll be right down. Promise."

It sounded weird to me, in retrospect, but at the time, I simply accepted it, returned downstairs, put out a bowl of M&Ms, and waited for her.

She didn't come down for another 15 minutes, and I returned upstairs, quietly. The bathroom door was closed and the light was on, but this time I slipped past it and looked into my room again.

She was on my computer. "Hey," I said, walking in, "What are you doing?"

She said, "I was just on the… Internet, I wanted to check my… mails… I'm sorry, I just got caught up with…"

I looked at my computer screen. What she had up wasn't an email client. It was a series of documents: letters I had written to various friends and former girlfriends. Some of them I hadn't opened in years, but there they were, about a dozen of them, all open.

I turned to her and asked, "Why are you going through my–"

She bolted out of the room, flew downstairs, and threw herself out of the house. I heard her car peel away.

I watched a film by myself and from then on, I've kept a closer eye on my visitors.


  1. "It sounded weird to me, in retrospect"

    I'm surprised it didn't sound weird there and then, but when you're in a situation where you want to like someone, I suppose, it makes sense. Thanks for sending this in.

  2. And that's exactly where being a console-heavy GNU/Linux user has its advantages. Most people wouldn't know how to read the mails on my machine. ;P

    1. And calling it GNU/Linux means you never have to worry about being on a date anyway, right? :D

      (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

  3. Am I the only guy thinking that I would have made a pass at her the first time I caught her "giving herself a tour" of the bedroom? Not the second time, of course - going through somebody else's mail; that's just CRAZY.

  4. Good point wolfdreams01, I mean once she was in the bedroom would be a shame not to waste the op to give her the 'extended' tour...

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  6. People are either really naive or, as JMG comments, they are just too smitten to care..

  7. I just can't get over the fact that OP writes his letters to friends and girlfriends on a computer, rather than by hand.

    1. That's not even unusual today. On the rare occasions that I write snail mail, I type it. So does virtually everyone else I know, at least under the age of 60 or so.

  8. ^Sadly, if i ever needed to contact someone by snail-mail, I would probably do the same. My penmanship is atrocious, and the fact that most of the work I've done for the last five years has been on a computer hasn't done much to help that.

  9. @Kitty - a lot of people actually write long emails in Word, so that they have time to think about what they wrote and to have a backup in case the power blows or something. Nowadays most email clients will automatically save a draft, but they didn't always do that. I lost many long emails and discussion board posts that way.

    Also, I totally thought the date was going to steal something, or was looking for information to steal his identity. Wasn't expecting a mere snoop!

  10. Well Miss Gnome, generally when a woman I'm on a date with avoids the living room in favor of the bedroom, I take a certain hint from that. ;-)


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