Is There a Good Metaphor for Being a Loser?

Profile Sent in by Jamal:

About me:

I was on a nude beach once and I was the only clothed one there. That's like a metaphor for my life. Another time I went through town to a sex party and people I knew were there and by the time I arrived there it was over and clothes were back on. Again, a metaphor for my life.

I have a lot of metaphors for my life. One time I was on a train that stopped because two passengers were doing it between cars and one of them fell and was injured. Metaphor for my life. Another time I asked a friend if she'd sleep with me and she said no. I told her "this is like a metaphor for my life" and she said "get out of the women's bathroom" lol.


  1. I love the fact that men like this think they're completely normal. In fact, they often think they're a catch.

  2. Yep, definitely got an extended metaphor going on there- somebody wake Homer from the grave to write a new epic poem. The hero stringing his bow like a bard strings his harp is so five millenia ago, now that we have the hero not getting laid like ...like himself. Wait, that's not a metaphor at all, that's his ACTUAL life.

  3. Pfft. It's not a metaphor, IT'S A SIGN.


  4. Am I the only one who read the last line and thought the guy was funny? Damn.

  5. I guess he doesn't realize that his metaphors all mean the same thing?

  6. New York Angel (I refuse to misspell your name the way you did) - you made me laugh while sneezing. It hurt, but in a good way.

  7. People who speak in metaphors can shampoo my crotch.


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