High Points and No Points

Story Sent in by Jackie:

Several years ago, I lived in Pecos, Texas. The dating scene out there wasn't (and probably still isn't) that great, but one guy who messaged me online seemed on the level. He was Frank. Frank liked to hike, and so did I. Perhaps it was the fact that I hadn't met anyone else out there in a while. Whatever it was, when he suggested going on a hike to the highest point in Texas for a first date, I told him that I'd do it.

The highest point in Texas, incidentally, is Guadalupe Peak, located in Guadalupe Mountains National Park, just south of New Mexico. From Pecos, it was 100 miles easy. A bit far for a normal person's first date, but I told my friends where I'd be, who I'd be with, and I tried to carry as much common sense as I could.

We drove out there together in his car, and we actually had a good time and a nice hike. He was a bit more in shape than I was, but we spent the day exploring the park and even had a nice picnic lunch. On the way back, he took my hand, and I felt that it was all fine.

Our second date was a local dinner. While out, we talked about our hiking adventure and he said, "The next big idea has to be yours."

"For a date? Well, we've already been to the highest point in Texas. Where's the lowest point?"

He snapped his fingers and said, "That's great! Find out and we'll go."

I took out my phone then and there and looked it up. The answer wasn't good news, although I'm not sure what else I was expecting. I told him, "The lowest point in Texas is sea level."

"Great. Want to go tonight, after dinner?"

"Sea level is at the Gulf of Mexico. That's about 500 miles away."

He said, "Great! That probably means an overnight stay or two somewhere. One room would be cheaper. With one bed. For both of us. To sleep in. Together."

"We're not going."

"What? Why not?"

"Five hundred miles? That's a vacation, not a day trip. And what's this talk about sharing a bed? This is only our second date. Hit the brakes."

He said, "We've already had sex."

"No we haven't!"

He rolled his eyes. "We've held hands, but it's the next step in our relationship. If you want, we can do it right here, tonight, to just get it over with before the trip."

"Right here? What?"

He said, "Not at the restaurant. In my car or one of our places. We need to go back there anyway, to pack."

"We're not going, and we're definitely not having sex in a car or either of our places."

He said, "Well, I'm going to the lowest point in Texas tonight, and I'll go alone if I have to. Right after dinner."

"Have fun."

"I will!" he said. He didn't say anything else to me for the rest of dinner, but when the check came, he paid it. I thanked him, he downed his beer, said, "You're dumb!" and left in a huff.

The next day, Frank was good enough to send me an email: "Hi Jackie! I'm at the lowest point in Texas! It's so great here, and it's beautiful! I just love the sea! Wish you were here! But you're not!"

Given who he had shown himself to be, I was actually pretty glad to not be there. If indeed, he actually went at all.


  1. That was indeed a low point in OP's dating history.

  2. So in the last few days we've had a woman who thinks blowjobs don't count as hooking up, and a man who thinks holding hands is sex.

  3. ^Put them together and you got yourself a sitcom!

  4. ^given the state of "laugh-track" sitcoms, it'd probably be a hit!

  5. I live 10 min away from the GOM and I have to say.... Not too beautiful. Definitely full of it!

  6. Again, why would you go hiking with a guy you just met in a park alone.So your friend knows you are with some guy who may have given his true name, in a state park, yeah, I'm sure they will find your body.


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