That's Quacktastic

Profile Sent in by Lisa:

Who I'm looking for:

i am done looking for men. i want a duck. a duck is cute, quacks. nothing more. nothing less. cheap to keep. won't ever eat it not even when it dies. if you are a guy then i am not at all interested. if you are a guy with a duck then maybe we can talk. i have to meet the duck first.

just kidding. i don't really want a duck. a man who is like a duck, like a soft pillow that quack quacks is fine with me… i will eat him if he dies. that way his soul will always be part of me in my blood and brain! My fingers will be his fingers. <3


  1. So you want a new duck? Not a quail or an owl?

  2. "I will eat him if he dies".


  3. One with big, webbed feet!
    One that won't steal the beer!
    One that won't raid the icebox!

  4. I would hate to be in a relationship were i literally had to kill myself to get a BJ.. Not interested!

  5. I like the first half of this profile the best.

  6. That person needs to meet this person:

  7. I dated a duck once, but it didn't last long. Her Quack was too big.

  8. ^ Not that Polka Dot would believe it. She thinks all females are tight. Must be a bit...insecure about her own Poke-A-Twat

  9. One that's never gonna migrate or escape?

    I KNEW you were my kind of people here!

  10. Best part: "My fingers will be his fingers. <3"

    It's the less-than-three that really makes it wonderful. Very sweet.

  11. How did you know, Howie? I totally call it Poke-A-Twat!

  12. Where do they find these dating profiles? They are always the same format...I wonder...


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