She Should've Taken That Stage Slapping Class

Story Sent in by Emille:

Rosa and I went to the same college.  I had a meeting in the performing arts department with a professor and showed up early, so I peeked into an auditorium, where a rehearsal was taking place.  Rosa was on stage, and she struck me at once as the most beautiful woman I had seen in my three years of college attendance.  I skipped my meeting and sat in the back row, just to watch her perform.  I had to meet her, to ask her out, to… whatever came after that.

I had my opportunity after the rehearsal.  She left the auditorium, I followed her, and introduced myself.  She seemed happy to make my acquaintance, and we walked along, talking for a while.

We made it back to her dorm and I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime.  She said that she'd be interested, but only as friends, as she had a boyfriend.  Disappointed, but still pleased to have met her, I asked her out to lunch that following Saturday.

That Saturday, I made it to the cafe at which we had arranged to meet.  Time passed, and she didn't show.  I didn't have her number, but I knew which dorm she lived in, so I walked there, in the hopes that I'd bump into her.

I arrived at her building, and she was nowhere in sight.  My plan was to write a short note on the order of: "Missed you today, hope everything's all right," and drop it off in her mailbox.  If I didn't hear from her, I'd figure that she wasn't interested in meeting up, and that she had blown me off on purpose.  I didn't hear from her, and so I didn't push the issue any further.  For the rest of that school year, I didn't see her, either.  Well, too bad.

My senior year rolled around and I had a class with her.  My plan was to be polite, but not to engage unless she spoke to me. 

She did, about three weeks into the semester.  She approached me as I walked down a hall after class and said, "I'm sorry about disappearing.  I figured you liked me as more than a friend, and I guess I just panicked."

I said, "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.  I was fine with us being friends, and I think I mentioned as much.  I didn't have any further expectations than that.  Just friends would've been fine."

She looked shocked – genuinely insulted, and said, "So you didn't want to date me?  Why not?  You too good for me?  Like you're some kind of big fucking prize, yourself!"

She swung her hand back as if to slap me.  Purely out of reactive shock, I backed away and she slammed her hand against the wall, near my head.  She screamed, wrung out her hand, and pulled out her phone.

Part of me wanted to stay to make sure that she was okay, but as soon as she said into the phone, "Paul, you and Dave get over here, now," I realized that the situation wouldn't end well for me.

I mumbled something like, "Talk to you soon," and I took off.

The next class, she showed up with her hand and arm in a sling.  She gave me dirty looks the entire time.

The class after that, her hand was no longer in a sling, and she never looked at me or talked to me again.


  1. What kind of cruel parent names their son Emily, I mean Emille yes....

  2. Well, she definitely took the right major... the girl certainly knows drama...

  3. Hot, smart, sane, pick 2...

  4. Sadly, the hot actress types are prone to be about the nuttiest females out there. Not all but most.

  5. I've dated my share of actors.

    Never again; they're all excessively dramatic.

  6. Am I the only one who didn't like the OP much for blowing off a meeting with his professor?

    Eh, we all make mistakes.

    1. Nope. I didn't like him very much for blowing off his professor either. I had little sympathy for him after that.

  7. ^I had the same thought, but it just struck me as a stupid thing to do, not a reason to dislike him.

    As an actress, I can assure you that not ALL of us are this conceited, but we ARE all batshit insane. I never dated actors; one crazy person in the relationship is enough.

  8. Oh, and Jared, "Stage slapping"? Really? It's called "Stage Combat."

  9. That's not what you called it last night.


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