It Needed a Wash, Anyway

Story Sent in by Erin:

I was the bad date on this one. David and I were friends in high school, and about a year after we graduated, he called me up and asked me if I wanted to go to a Reds game with him. I accepted.

The game started around 7pm. I had spent the day at my best friend's house, and David offered to pick me up there. What I'm sure poor David wasn't expecting was for me to have started taking shots of schnapps as soon as I arrived at my buddy's place.

Not that it's an excuse for my rudeness, but at 19 I wasn't quite familiar with my "limits," so to speak. When David arrived to pick me up, I was already drunk. I decided that it would be a good idea to bring a flask full of more liquor to the game.

We arrived there and I continued to drink, stumble across seats, fall down a few steps, be loud and obnoxious, and just generally be a drunk pain in the ass while sweet David got me some cotton candy and tried to laugh off my drunkenness.

At some point, I told David, "I'll be right back. Keep an eye on my purse. I'm going to the bathroom."

On my way, a couple of guy friends called me, said that they were also at the game, and asked me if I wanted to meet up with them by one of the food counters. Like the drunk 19-year-old that I was, I wandered around the stadium until I found them.

We ended up standing around drinking while poor David sat all alone in the stands. He eventually called my cell to ask me if I was okay and was extremely sweet when I slurred that I had essentially forgotten about him. I asked him to bring my purse and come find me.

About 45 minutes later, David walked up with my gigantic polka dot purse (having apparently endured many "cool purse, dude" comments along the way). By that time, the game was pretty much over and David asked me if I wanted him to take me back to my friend's house, to which I agreed.

On the way back, my stomach decided that it couldn't handle the cotton candy/schnapps concoction and I commanded David to pull over. Being that wasted, though, my aim was off and I ended up emptying the contents of my stomach all over the side of his new truck.

I called him the next day to apologize and he was incredibly gracious about it. He never asked me out for a second date (understandably), but we're still friends. Six years later I still feel terrible about the whole incident, and I hope poor David never again has to put up with an idiotic, embarrassing, inebriated date like me.


  1. It's nice to hear from a bad date for a change.
    My goodness you weren't kidding when you said you were a bad date. Poor guy!

  2. Props for fessing up OP :)

  3. O.P. here. I just thought I'd share some good news! Oddly enough, the night I submitted this story, "David" got engaged to his lovely girlfriend...at a Reds game!

    As for me, I'm thinking of getting him a bottle of 99 Bananas (it was edited to schnapps but I think the reality is much nastier), some cotton candy and a coupon for a free car wash as a congratulatory gift. Then again...maybe not. :)

  4. So brave of you to post your story. Thank you for sharing.


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