Ninja School Reject

Story Sent in by Derek:

Lara and I were walking and talking after dinner. She was a former teacher and between jobs, but had saved up enough to be independent for a while.

"I had to quit teaching. Couldn't take it anymore. Looking for a new job. Maybe I'll be a ninja."

I smiled. "A ninja?"

She said, "I have experience. A friend and I started a ninja club in junior high. We pretended to be ninjas and—hi-ya!"

She karate chopped me, hard, square in the throat. I coughed, wheezed, and gasped. She said, "There was something crawling on your neck. I'm a ninja!"

"Then tell me!" I yelled, "Don't hit me! What the fuck?"

She cried, "I was only trying to help! You could've died!" and then she ran away. I called after her, but that was that.


  1. That is indeed the way of the ninja. Strike swiftly at your target's most vulnerable point, then disappear into the darkness, never to be seen again.

  2. She was probably still around but you couldn't see her because she's a ninja.

  3. Ninjas, by the time you see one, it's already too late..

  4. Just be glad she didn't choose a throwing star to deal with the "whatever" on your throat. She spared you, man!

  5. The Prankster strikes again! But the Prankster is asexual so I'm always puzzled when he/she goes on dates... which invariably end with the Prankster pulling one over the OP and running away. :)


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