Why People Started Locking Their Doors

Story Submitted by Sheena (on behalf of Theresa):

(Sheena says: "This is from my mom, Theresa.  It may be useful to know that this was in 1979 in a small city where doors were left unlocked, people were asked out by people they'd already met in person, and cell phones didn't exist.")

I was 18 and working as an assistant in a real estate office.  Roger, a handsome real estate agent and seemingly nice guy about seven years older than myself, started sticking around a little longer, made chit-chat with me, and eventually asked me out.  He had been an agent with the company for several years, was always polite and seemed well-liked by everyone, and despite the age difference I accepted his offer.

The first date went well.  The second date went even better.  He was a full on gentleman, complete with picking me up from my house in his car, opening doors, and kissing me goodnight both times.  Since he picked me up and I still lived at home, he even met my family and everyone said that he seemed nice.

During the next work week, Roger mentioned that he was painting his apartment over the following weekend, so I offered to come by and help paint.

We painted all Saturday and had a good time.  He talked about his friends' relationships, how long they'd been together, how they met, and then he said, "My buddy, Jim, has a wife who likes to get whipped with an actual whip."

I replied, "Wow, that's a bit freaky."

He then excused himself, I assumed, to use the washroom.  After a minute, I heard the crack of a whip.  I jumped and turned to see Roger standing behind me, a bullwhip in his hand.

He grinned and said, "Pretty cool, huh?  Jim lent it to me.  Want to try it?"

I stared at him, then asked, "Where's the bathroom? I haven't gone all day."  He pointed it out.  I started down the hall then took off faster than lightning out of that place.  He tried calling a bunch of times that night but I didn't answer.  I had no idea how things would go at work on Monday, but I didn't care.

Turns out, I didn't have to wait until Monday.

The next day, Sunday, early afternoon, I was at home by myself.  My parents, brother, and sister were out doing various things.  I heard a knock at the door and saw through the curtains that it was Roger.

"Theresa?" he called out.  I decided to ignore him, then turned and headed down the hallway.

"Theresa?" he called again, then opened the front door.  I swiftly darted into the bathroom and locked the door.  I heard footsteps and then someone jiggling the handle.

"Theresa?" he asked again.

I disguised my voice and said, "She's not here.  Is that you, Roger?  I'll tell her you stopped by."

A long pause, then he said, "Okay, thanks."  I heard his footsteps, walking away.

Then I heard the front door open and my mom and sister entering.  My mother said, "Hi, Roger!  Are you and Theresa heading out?"  I hadn't yet told her about the whip incident.

Roger replied, "No.  I thought she wasn't here."

My mother said, "I think she is," then yelled for me, "Theresa?  Where are you?"

I let her into the bathroom and spilled the beans about everything immediately.  She listened, nodded her head, then left the bathroom.  She walked back to Roger and said to him, "Theresa doesn't want to see you anymore, now leave her alone."

He left our house immediately, and he quit the agency shortly thereafter.  We never spoke again.


  1. There's not necessarily anything wrong with suggesting to try the whip! No need to run away.

    And then given that there was no other way of contacting you back then, other than phone and turning up on the doorstep... what's wrong with that?

    Just tell him politely no. Who knows, maybe he'd have gotten his obsession out of his head and you'd have had a loving and whip-free relationship.

  2. Yeah, I'm not really seeing the stunning part here. He revealed an interest in trying out something slightly kinky and Theresa reacts as though he showed her a basement full of mangled bodies or something. Maybe whip play was a lot more taboo in 1979 than it is now, but it still seems like an extreme overreaction.

  3. Are you guys serious? This was after two dates. TWO. You don't break out the kinky sex toys after TWO DATES, especially in 1979!

  4. No, no, no, no, no. She was 18, she was in his apartment, she felt extremely uncomfortable, and the guy was standing there with a friggin' whip that he's itching to use on her. Talk about being in a position of absolutely no power. And he didn't just SUGGEST the whip. He mentions (or invents)a couple who's into that stuff, she shows little to no interest in it, and then he just goes and gets it.

    I mean, I have absolute no problem with the kinky stuff, but you shouldn't be so predatory about it (unless your partner is expressly interested in that sort of thing).

  5. I agree with Dan and Andrew. You couldn't say no thanks? Instead, you scurry away and leave him guessing as to why you disappeared? I suppose that your behavior is excusable for an 18 year old.

  6. ^^ I doubt it was hard to guess.

  7. This was 1979, not 1959. In the age of cocaine and disco, this was still a bit prude.

  8. I think it goes beyond a bit prude. If she wasn't interested she could have just said so, and if she was so utterly devastated that he even suggested something slightly kinky that her fragile girlhood couldn't stand to ever see him again, she could have said that too. Running away, hiding, and giving him the silent treatment comes off as childish at best and downright psycho at worst.

  9. Does anyone on here feel even a little guilty that you're yelling at someone's mom? :(

  10. Not guilty at all, Mom wanted her story on the WWW and she got it :-)

  11. Oh, I missed that part! You're right, the fact that she eventually had a kid years later totally excuses her bizarre behaviour and I'm really... oh, wait, no it doesn't, actually. Nevermind.

  12. He might have meant "do you want to hold the whip?" rather than "do you want me to whip you?" And even if it was the latter, he was very polite about it.

    But he shouldn't have come in the house just because the door was unlocked. Bad.

  13. Why are you guys faulting her for being scared by the prospect of getting whipped by someone she barely knew? Were you guys really that worldly and knowledgeable about BDSM when you were 18? And even if YOU were, that doesn't mean everyone is or that we should all be into it. Some people are raised to be conservative or sheltered. Nothing wrong with that.

    Honestly, she successfully got herself out of TWO situations where she felt her safety was at risk. If she had stuck around in either case, you'd all be chiding her for missing the big honking red flags and putting herself in danger.

  14. Team Roger here. You could have at least talked to him when he came over to your house the next day and explained your discomfort over the whip rather than acting like he was trying to throw you against the wall and rape you. He ASKED you if you wanted to try the whip, he did not DEMAND it.

    Maybe there were some details left out that show him to be more sinister, but from what we have above I'm flabbergasted at Theresa's response.

  15. Team OPs mom.

    I am involved in a fair amount of BDSM and know that:
    1) All scenes require established trust
    2) everything should be discussed before anything happens
    3) you dont start out with a bullwhip with someone totally new, either to the lifestyle or to a scene with you. Those things hurt and can be severely damaging if used improperly.

    This guy is a poster boy for what new subs should watch out for. He probably picked her because she was young and would be more easily manipulated. BDSM is all about "safe, sane, and consentual" and that situation was none of those.

  16. Andrew: Don't be an asshole. I just found it sad that we were berating a middle-aged woman for something terrifying that happened to her when she was 18 during a different sort of era. (It wasn't ALL disco and blow, remember.) I'm glad that c9... spoke up and reminded everyone that Roger came on very strong, and even though Theresa may seem cowardly and overly dramatic for running away and hiding, it's still a valid reaction for someone who felt in danger.

  17. ^^I'm with c9 too. If Roger were a part of the local scene here, he'd be the one that newbies are warned about.

    If you don't know if someone is into it, you gently ask questions and talk about it first, you don't just go ahead an haul out the bullwhip. He really should have clued in when he mentioned it to her, and her response was, at best, tepid. Clue-by-four: she said it was "freaky," not "hot." He needed to respect her boundaries, and he didn't; he wasn't even paying attention.

    And no, you don't start a new relationship out with a bullwhip (on the THIRD DATE! they hadn't even had sex yet, unless I miss my guess, and probably hadn't even talked about sex yet), and especially not with a newbie. You need to spend enough time together to be able to read each others' body language extremely well. That, at the VERY least, requires closer physical proximity than a bullwhip would allow. And yes, single-tailed whips are difficult to control, they hurt, and they are not good tools for warm-up. If he'd never thrown a bullwhip before (and it sure sounded like he hadn't), he sure as hell shouldn't start by practicing on a human being.

  18. When you think you might be in danger, you get the fuck out. You don't stop to consider if someone else would think you're a weenie. You don't ponder the probability that the other person has a mysteriously legitimate reason to do this thing to you. You get the fuck out. And you don't owe anyone any explanation ever.

    This is a Good Case of a Woman Learning How to Taking Care of Herself and Teaching Her Daughter the Same.

  19. Theresa did nothing wrong. I'd be pretty freaked out if a guy I'd only been out with twice suggested something like this out of nowhere too and went and fetched the damn whip even when I'd expressed zero interest. Why should anyone hang around and explain why his behavior was inappropriate? Clearly she didn't feel safe, otherwise she would have just told him she was going. And coming into her house uninvited? Yeah, Roger has a couple of (hundred) things to learn about boundaries.

  20. Also team mom.

    I'm late to the party, but I just wanted to point out that not only did he walk into the house uninvited, but he tried to open the bathroom door without even knocking. WTF?

    At first I thought the whip thing might be more innocent than she thought it was too, but if he just wanted to show Theresa a cool gadget, why sexualize it first with that story about the wife liking it used on her?

    Nein. Creepyville.

  21. It makes me fear for humanity when I see so many people faulting the OP. If you disagree that she acted appropriately when he came back in the room with the whip and wanted to hit her with it, she felt threatened by the weapon and left without telling him, that's one thing. But the last part of the story includes him COMING IN HER HOUSE when she didn't answer the door, and trying to get in the bathroom where she locked herself. What would have happened if he found out it was her in there and her family didn't come home? I shudder to think.

  22. ^You make a good point, though I personally don't think anything would have happened, it was certainly a possibility.

    I think she reacted appropriately to the situation, aka you don't try to aggravate the guy with the whip whom you are currently alone with.

    Team OP

  23. It only got creepy when he was trying the doorhandles. Kinky sex wasn't invented in this century, kids.


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