We'll Invent That Right After Hoverboards

Email Submitted by Fred:

Explain this please: one of your pictures has you with a mustache. The other two don't. This really pisses me off about men and maybe you can shed some light on it: what's with the posting of photos of facial hair? Do you see women posting photos of themselves with facial hair???

Let me break this down for you: monkeys have facial hair. It grows and is natural. Elk have facial hair. Elephants have facial hair! They can't control it! But despite all of humankind's advancements, we can't invent a man who doesn't have a freaking beard!

I dont know if you have one now or not, but shave it off or don't contact me ever.



  1. The ironic thing is, if a woman had posted pictures of herself with unshaven legs or underarms, she'd get a very similar e-mail...and most people would agree with it.

    1. If that's so, and it certainly may well be, it is ironic and sad.

      For myself, I like hair on my female partners. But more important than what I like is that they style it they way *they* want to.

  2. I don't know that they would...No one said you can't have preferences, but you can't expect everyone to walk around conforming to your standards of attractiveness. And you sure as hell don't have to be so rude and insulting about it. Don't like facial hair, don't date men who have it. Contacting men with facial hair to tell them not to contact you, well, that's just ridiculous.

  3. Well Kelli is an idiot because I personally LOVE facial hair on a man. I also love a hairy chest (not a hairy back though). Maybe it's because I like real men not metrosexuals who shave more than I do GROSS! Fred I'm wondering what you look like now??

  4. I think Frankenstein's monster qualifies for her: he was invented *and* doesn't have facial hair.

  5. Crap. For a second I thought Melina might find me sexy, but I guess I need to go shave my back first...

  6. I think a one-line e-mail would suffice:

    "It's a deal."

  7. I'm with Melina. Send your discarded hairy men to me Kelli, I'll welcome them with open arms XD Love me some hair on a dude, rawr.

    Also love how it's natural for animals to grow hair on their faces, but for humans it was invented? Well then wishmaster, invent me a woman with boobs on her back, plz.

  8. Well TacoDave how hairy is your back. Are we talking sweater or peachfuzz?

  9. Lime, do you REALLY think that the reason humans have facial hair is because we, oh I don't know, evolved from apes and lost a lot of that hairiness? PFFFT. God made us hairless and perefect, but we keep defying His will and growing facial anyway. Bastards.


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