Going to Carolina in My Mind

Story Submitted by Heath:

Maddie and I met on a dating site. I had just come back from a two-week trip hiking in the Carolinas. I told her, "It was so beautiful. If you haven't been, it's worth your time."

"Wow," she said, "I love the Carolinas! I've been there five times!"

She told me a bit about her trips to the Carolinas, we talked a bit more, and I asked her out on a date. There was an outdoor barbecue place in the area that we both liked, so we went there for lunch.

We grabbed food, sat down at one of the wooden picnic tables, and talked. Not too long into our conversation, she said, "I've never actually been to North Carolina. Or South Carolina. Either Carolina."

Surprised, but willing to let it slide, I said, "Why would you say that you did?"

She said, "You said they were beautiful, so I just wanted to say that I had been somewhere that you thought was beautiful."

"Okay. Well, you should go there someday."

She apologized again, then pulled out a half-burned candle and said, "Let's make it more romantic." She lit it with a lighter and set it on the table. "Romantic, see?" she said, then knocked it over with a finger.

I blew it out and she gave me an open-mouthed stare of doom. She asked, "What was that for?"

I replied, "You knocked over a candle on a wooden table," thinking that this response was a suitable explanation.

It wasn't, it seemed. Again, she asked, "What did you do that for? Are you, like, against romance or something?"

"No, but I'm against flaming, agonizing death. Or destruction of property. In that order."

She looked me straight in the eye and said, "You really are insane." She then picked up the candle, re-lit it, and put it back on the table. "Instant romance!" she said, then flicked it over again!

I blew it out once more, but this time, she took a swipe at my head with her hand, as if to cuff me. I leaned back, and she missed.

I jumped up and said, "What was that for?"

She said, "It's for all who hate romance, like you obviously do."

Then it was my turn to stare at her. I grabbed my food tray, as I still wanted my lunch, said, "See you around," and walked off, as quickly as I could.

"Romance hater!" she called after me. Yep, she had that right.


  1. I hate these chicks who think it's okay to just hit guys whenever they want to. Sooner or later, they'll meet a guy who's not afraid to hit back!

  2. What was with knocking the candle over? What does starting a fire on a wooden table have to do with romance?

  3. I've never been in a situation like this, but if it happened to me and she got one hit in, I'd warn her of the consequences if it happened again, and if she ignored my warning then I wouldn't be afraid to strike back.


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