Take Out and Take Away

Story Submitted by Ariana:

Nick offered to take me out to dinner on our first date. He told me, "I know a great Chinese place," and gave me the address.

I had expected a restaurant, but it turned out to be one of those take-out places with the pictures of the food above the counter. He met me there, we sat down at the single table, and he placed a dinner order for us up at the counter.

In a few minutes, he strode to the table and dropped a single egg roll, wrapped in plastic, upon it. "Dinner!" he announced, then pulled a plastic fork out of his pocket, cut the egg roll in half, lengthwise, spilling its contents all over the table. He scooped them up with his fingers and gathered them into the halves.

"Dig in!" he said, "An egg roll for you and me!"

He tore into his egg roll half like a Jurassic Park dinosaur. I stood up to grab a plastic fork and plate, and ate mine.

"Ooh," he said, finishing his half, "Fancy schmancy. Want another one?"

I said, "I think I'll wait for dinner. Ready to order it?"

He said, "I'm sorry. I thought this was dinner. You want another? Really?"

I asked, "Half an egg roll's enough for you?"

"Always!" he shouted, then bounded to the counter and told the clerk, "Another egg roll for this young lady, if you please!"

I stood up and said, "Actually, I wanted to order something more substantial."

He asked, "Two egg rolls?"

"No, like a meal." I turned to the clerk and ordered a steamed vegetable entree. I asked Nick if he wanted anything and he picked up and studied the menu for a long time.

Finally, he slammed it down and didn't say a word. I asked him, "Know what you want?"

"Yes!" he said, "I want... to leave!"

He bolted out of there, leaving me very confused. I ate my dinner on my own and headed home thereafter.

I received a text from him at two in the morning that said: "Sorry for the FAST EXIT. I had NO MONEY. SORRY."

I wrote back, "It's okay. Bye."

He replied, "WTF! You don't want to go out again???"

I didn't respond, which I think was self-explanatory.