So Is Being an Undertaker

Story Submitted by Alicia:

I met Robert at the hospital where we were student doctors, although we attended different schools. We'd chat and flirt during meetings and lectures. About two weeks after meeting him, he asked me out to dinner. As I was new to the area, I accepted his offer, as I thought it kind, and he was pretty cute.

We met at a popular local place that Robert had recommended. When our waitress arrived, he ordered a couple of strong drinks for both of us without even asking me what I wanted.  I thought it was weird, but I had never been to that place before, so perhaps he knew what was good and thought that he was doing me a favor.

When the waitress came by for our dinner orders, he also ordered my dinner for me.  I was really thrown off by that. Not that I'm a picky eater, but what if I hadn't been in the mood for what he ordered?  I asked him, "What's with you ordering for me?  For future reference, I can pick out my own dinner."

He said, "Well, I know what's good and my ex always picked the wrong things."

I changed the subject and asked him, "Why are you going into medicine?"

He responded, "It's pretty badass to be a doctor. I'm really just in it for the money. I don't want to be poor, and being an MD is the only way to go. It's recession-proof.  And, I know my school isn't the best one out there, but let's be honest, at least I didn't go to an osteopathic school."

I was attending an osteopathic medical school and he knew it, so I asked, "Why not? Osteopaths are just as legitimate."

Robert replied, "But they're not. Osteopathic schools are for people who are too dumb to go to a real med school. And they're not real doctors anyway. They really shouldn't be practicing in the hospitals."

I stared at him, trying to think of a response that wouldn't involve his murder.

He said, "Isn't that why you're at an osteopathic school?"

I reminded him, "I seem to recall us scoring the same on the MCAT."

He nodded and said, "So osteopath, want to head back to my place? Drink a little more? Maybe get a little freaky? My parents are out of town this weekend."

I politely declined and returned to my own house. He called me the next day to ask me out again, but I didn't respond.


  1. Maybe his problem was caused by misplaced bones!

  2. Ah, another man who practices the art of "women are attracted to douchebags who treat them poorly".

    It surprises me that guys think that'll work.

  3. Mediator, I think you're right and it may have something to do with women too. She "politely refused" his offer of casual sex after he had already insulted her.

    It's not just that some guys are douchebags. Many women respond to jerks so the cycle continues...

  4. At his ordering for me I interrupt and tell the server what I really want.

    At "...my ex always picked the wrong things," I'm standing up and walking out. God forbid someone should have different preferences from him, no?

    I always wonder how people like this manage to fly under the radar long enough to actually get a dinner date. Pretending not to be an arrogant douche for two whole weeks must have damn near killed him.

    Title WIN, btw.

  5. Julie, Osteopathy is a legit field in the US (I know in other countries it is practiced differently). Osteopaths take the same exact classes that MDs take, just adding on an extra course to learn osteopathic manipulative medicine, which a large number of DOs don't use in practice. Now I am not saying there aren't some crazy osteopaths out there, as I have met some, but I feel like that occurs in any profession. However,the normal osteopath practices the same way a normal MD does. Also, its easier to get into MD school outside the US than it is to get into a DO school in the US. I will agree with it is easier to get into a DO school than a MD school in the US, but I do not agree with any of his other comments.

  6. Osteopathy is legit.

    Homeopathy is not.


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