Yankee Doodle and Howdy Doody

Story Submitted by Scott:

In my profile, I always list that I'm a Republican for a few reasons. First, I live in a very blue state, and if someone's going to be put off enough for it to be a dealbreaker, better they know upfront. Secondly, I find that I usually attract more intelligent people, as they're willing to engage me in insightful debate as well as respectful dialogue, regardless of their political leanings.

The date that prompted me to make it a permanent fixture in my profile was the one I had with Jennifer. I liked her profile and wrote her as soon as I could. We traded emails and politics never came up. She was a teacher, I worked in college administration. We set up a date.

This wasn't long after the healthcare overhaul passed. During the date, at a restaurant, it somehow came up before we had ordered our dinners.

"Can you believe those fucking Republicans?" I believe were her exact words, "It's like they're pure evil. Who can be against healthcare?"

I'm a moderate, but I certainly had my own opinions on the matter, and they didn't completely match hers. I responded as delicately as possible, "I think it's more a question of how it'll be paid for. It's not that they're against healthcare. There are some major questions about how the bill will be funded."

"Yeah, but universal healthcare," she stated, as if that was a firm enough rebuttal to my concern, then, "You're not some kind of Republican apologist, are you?"

I said, "No. I'm an actual Republican."

She laughed, then asked, "Are you serious?"

I nodded. "Afraid so. We can still have a nice night, though, can't we?"

She stared at me like I was some mythical beast. "Holy shit," she said, "So you want to outlaw abortion and give huge tax cuts to the wealthiest one percent?"

I replied, "I'm not a social conservative, but definitely a fiscal one. I think that a lot of Obama's ideas are great in theory, but we can't afford to keep borrowing money to fund them."

"So you plan to outlaw abortion, give tax cuts to the wealthy, and rip up the environment to pay for it? What's a few human rights here or there? Holy shit."

I said, "It's not like that."

She banged on the table and said, "We won, asshole! This isn't the fifties! Yes we can! Yes we can!"

I replied, "Whoever won, everyone's going to have to work together for the good of the country, and no one, Democrat or Republican, can do it alone."

"Yes we can, motherfucker," she sat back and was nearly spitting with rage, "Yes we can. We won. You lost. Yes we can."

I asked, "Want to call it a night?"

She stood up and said, "There's nothing I'd like more," then added, "No offense."

"None taken," I said, as pleasantly as possible. I stood up and walked her out.

Her last words to me, as we parted outside the restaurant, were, "I hope you get a bit smarter. The future of the country depends on it."

"Good night," I said, and we both returned to our cars, never to speak again.


  1. was it this girl you were on a date with?

  2. You both sound like annoying people!

  3. You imply that you DIDN'T have "I'm a Republican" in your profile for this date. Not hugely surprised that you'd encounter someone who thinks Republicans are evil and doesn't want anything to do with one. And I'm sure there are Democrats who have gone out with right-wingers who start yelling about how they're "baby-killers!"

  4. I read this thinking it was a 'sketchy email'. I was like, 'when is he going to get to the asking out part?'

    I think it was this line: "I find that I usually attract more intelligent people". Right, because Republicans seem way smarter...

    But then, I'm from Australia. (We have public health care. "Who can be against healthcare?")

  5. Seems like there is a reluctance among commenters to admit that this chick was nuts. The fact that this dude didn't support the health care bill does not make her any less crazy.

  6. And re: Julia's comment, he specifically says that it attracts more intelligent people regardless of their political leaning. Jesus, you mention your politics and suddenly people forget how to read.

  7. Yeah, but who would go out with a Republican if they weren't a Republican themselves? Yuck!

    I agree with s9421, they both sound annoying.

    1. I dated a Republican, and we had a great time together. We're still friends. And I'm definitely a liberal, Democrat. If two people have something in common or actually like each other, then they should go for it. And we didn't break it off because of political reasons. I do remember this one time that we went to this Republican kind of party at a bar, and I had a blast. Met so many people who had completely different views than me. And I really enjoyed them as people. Also, close-mindedness is close-mindedness, no matter what the person believes.

    2. I know people who need to agree politically with their partners, but I'm not one. That's a good thing, because my political views are very unusual.

      So yeah, I'd date a Republican, or a Democrat, or an adherent of just about any other party, as long as they were decent people.

  8. Pah! People will have their own views on politics- some are more sketchy than other sure but it's a personal preference. I'm British and I voted conservative, I have friends who voted labour and we don't spit anger at each other, we just have different priorities.

    This girl was out of her tree, clearly! Or just very, very empassioned- either way you weren't well matched so lucky escape eh?

  9. I'm a left-leaning registered Independent who has voted Democrat for the past three elections (i.e. ever since I was legal to vote), and I am currently in a very happy long-term relationship with a Republican. Differing politics can work in a relationship as long as each side's beliefs are treated with respect. This date didn't work out because the girl was a extreme militant liberal, the kind that gives all liberals a bad name, and also perhaps just plain crazy.

    Honestly, not all Republicans are theocratic racist and sexist warhawks hell-bent on destroying the environment, just like not all Democrats are tree-hugging hippies who kill babies and want to make the ones who survive gay. I wish more people would understand that.

  10. ^ This.

    There are fanatics in every sort of group. Politics, religion, Twilight... They take themselves WAY too seriously and refuse to listen to other people's viewpoints. They hear what they want to hear and take things completely out of context.

  11. The problem I have with Republicans is they're such hypocritices. They're all crying fiscal conservatism and fiscal responsibility now, but when in the last decade a Rebublican President and a Republican Congress passed ridiculous things like an unfunded education mandate, an unfundeded Medicare prescription bill and an unfunded war against a nation that didn't attack us, they didn't much care. And their grasp of complex subjects is usually laughable — they think everything comes down to tax cuts.

    The problem I have with Democrats is that they're such WATBS. Try to read a few diaries in Daily Kos and see if you don't end up put off by the hurt feelings at the Obama betrayal and what meanies conservatives are.

  12. WATBS?

    I had been wondering for a while how many Republicans read this blog. Bad dates, poor decisions, and drunk emails from cousins appeal to all demographics, I would imagine, but I just always pictured the commenters to be a bunch of raving liberal trolls. (Myself included.)

    Much like this girl gives Democrats/hippie liberals a bad name, so do the talking head Republicans in the media give normal GOP'ers like Scott a bad name.

    Although truth be told, I'd LOVE to read a rebuttal post from her point of view.

  13. ^ WATB means "Whiny Ass Titty Baby".

  14. This sounds more like a fictionalized hyperbolic political smear than the recounting of an actual event. Anyone else find OP a little too cool of a customer, painting himself as being the total voice of reason and rationality, as the so-called liberal extremist curses wildly and screams empty political slogans, spittle flying freely?

  15. @Nikki - lurking hardcore Republican here =)

  16. Fiscal conservative right here!

  17. I'm an independent voter, and I've always found Republicans and Democrats to be equally foolish, hypocritical, and shortsighted. Republicans take donations from big business and repay them with fat contracts. Democrats take money from unions and repay them with fat contracts. Republicans want to take away women's prenatal decision making ability. Democrats want to take away a man's prenatal decision making ability. What's important is that the OP was open-minded enough to try debating in a reasonable adult way, and this bitch responded with the maturity level of a five-year old.

  18. Richard Jeni pretty much sums it up:

  19. Brad: Yes. As Queen of the Comments, I hereby give you permission to jack off as much as possible.

    Thanks to all the Republicans, fiscal conservatives, and have Republican/half Libertarians who said hi! Like I said, I knew you were out there, but I just never got "confirmation." I'm surprised we haven't had a blow up like this before.

  20. ^ Can I be the Grand Poobah?

  21. ^Do you have a tuba? Poobahs need tubas. It's a well-known fact. If not, would you be willing to GET a tuba? We would be able to reimburse you up to $100 for your purchase, PLUS you could write it off as a business expense on next year's tax forms.

  22. I'm an Obama supporter, but I hate people like this. Yes, I hate her based on her leanings.
    This guy actually sounds awesome, wish there were more of them.

    1. I don't like gal either. Rude is rude, you know.


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