4/11/2011

Without Her Life, She's Far Less Depressed

Email Submitted by Alana:

I'm a normal guy with an abnormal normality. No baggage, problems, or depression here. If anything, I make other people depressed with how not depressed I am. Careful, I might make you depressed! Just like my ex! Depressed her whole life! About everything! Until I took it from her! Now she's not depressed about anything! And I will do the same for you.

I have no kids or exwives. If I did they'd all be happy now. I want to make you happy so you tell me and let me.

Snip snip,
Ned
Posted by at
Labels: ,

10 comments:

  1. Claire (and Nikki)4/11/2011 1:43 PM

    Snip snip,
    Ned

    NOT OK.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ari4/11/2011 2:47 PM

    This is beyond creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pinkerton4/11/2011 3:20 PM

    The best part of this and every other email is that someone had to look over it, decide "Yes, this is the best thing I could say to introduce myself. Nothing can improve this" and then send it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown4/11/2011 5:09 PM

    Is he from Long Island, by any chance? Because according to last night's news show, we've got a new serial killer on the loose up there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. TacoDave4/11/2011 7:31 PM

    Maybe he just wanted to cut her hair. Maybe he's a world-famous stylist to the stars!

    Snip Snip (for free because you are beautiful!).

    Or he's just a creeper.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous4/11/2011 9:28 PM

    Bahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  7. theMediator4/12/2011 11:11 AM

    @Pinkerton
    You got that right.

    Also, did he just admit to killing his ex?

    ReplyDelete
  8. april4/12/2011 3:27 PM

    "Careful, I might make you depressed! Just like my ex! Depressed her whole life! About everything! Until I took it from her! Now she's not depressed about anything! And I will do the same for you."
    I like how the last sentance there ends with a period. It really changes the mood.

    Snip snip,
    April

    ReplyDelete
  9. Error4/12/2011 5:06 PM

    I'd like Ned's doctor to do a bit of the ol' snip snip down below.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Plum Jo4/12/2011 10:13 PM

    @TheMediator:

    Yes, I think he did just admit to killing his ex. And children.

    ReplyDelete

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