The System Is Down

Email Submitted by Luna:

The body has many systems.  Love flows through them all.  The CIRCULATORY SYTEM is the system of blood - the heart - the organ of love!

Next up we have the RESPIRATORY SYSTEM - the system of breath - breath is required for life (unless dead) and fills our hearts with plenty of air so our love can balloon!

DON'T GET NERVOUS (system) - THE NEXT SYSTEM IS THE NERVOUS SYSTEM!!!  But it is not the system that makes us nervous!  It had nerves so that we can feel.  This is the system of the sense of touch!  We can feel a hand being held, the tears of a child, or a lovers' embrace.  Such a system!

BONE SYSTEM - THE SYSTEM OF THE BONES - this holds us up!  Internal scaffolding that allows us to stand foursquare!  No flowing/pouring for us.  Just straight and tall.

ENDOCRINE SYSTEM?!?!?!?!?!?!?! wtf

All of these systems working as one have engaged themselves for me to write you.  Will your systems do the same?



  1. I guess he forgot the word "skeletal." Bone system just sounds ridiculous to me, or I could just be anal about it. ...and why stop at endocrine?

  2. My Gastrointestinal system made me puke after reading this email.

  3. The endocrine system seems like it could have been particularly relevant to this email's interests:

    "ENDOCRINE SYSTEM- the system of hormones! These are what makes us want to MAKE love! Let's have the sex!"

  4. "breath is required for life (unless dead)..."

    that line cracked me up so hard that i almost spewed my coffee onto my keyboard

  5. You are right Meine Schatze, there is no bone system.

    Sorry, I have to come clean. The only reason I replied to you was just so I could say Meine Schatze! There, I got it out of my system.

    I would make such a bad date.

  6. No love for the integumentary system?

  7. Agnes, That's exactly where I thought this was going, and he didn't even make a sex joke when saying "bone system"! So many missed opportunities here.

  8. I feel obliged to say that I am not the OP.

  9. i love it when my heart fills with plenty of air.

  10. EXCRETORY SYSTEM - Where from this email was written from.

  11. Is the title an intentional Homestar Runner reference? Because if it is that's freaking awesome. Rock on, Jared.

  12. "Organ of love" made me snerk. I wonder if OP really believes that feelings of love come from the actual physical heart.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.