Email Submitted by Richard:

SSsssSSSSsssSssS!  I'm a very snake!  SssSSSSssss!  SsssssSSSSssssSSSsss!  A real snake!

Don't worry!  I have not the venom!  I slide around legs and up across your chests.  If you are scared of snakes then imagine them with legs!  Less scary, more like a lizard together.  If you don't like the reptiles then imagine them with hair!  But I in fact have hair so this will be easy for you.  I also have arms and legs.

AM NOT A REAL SNAKE.  I pretend I am.  SSSssssSSSSsss!  SsssSSSSSsssSSS!  I like it and wonder if you will let me slither all around your warmth.  OOhhh squeeeeeeeeezey!



  1. Haha! I'd write back. He's funny.

  2. I wouldn't. I don't trust parselmouths. KF

  3. ^ <3

    This is quite possibly the most disturbing email we've had here.

  4. I immediately thought of this video when I read this:


  5. *ssssssssssshhhudders* I am creeped out Monday morning, and now, thanks to Lulu, I also have a visual.

  6. I also add to the kizyr love.

    OOhhh squeeeeeeeeezey!

  7. @Lulu

    All I could think of was badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom!

  8. @ theMediator

    And now all *I* could think of was "Llama, llama, duck!"

  9. @Lulu

    Now I've got "ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, banana phone!" stuck in my head.

    Well played.

  10. So, let me get this straight.
    This Salvatore fellow *pretends* he's a snake?
    I kind of think if a person is old enough to be looking for a romantic partner, then he/she is too old to play let's pretend.
    Little kids pretend to be animals.
    Diagnosis: MATURITY PROBLEM.
    OP really dodged a bullet there


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