Poetry from Start to Finish

Email Submitted by Lara:

Good day.  I'm sort of an amateur poet and I was inspired to write the following for you upon reading your profile and experiencing your pictures:

It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

It's just a little something I wrote after seeing your profile.  Please accept it.  I'm a part-time music school administrator and part-time music tutor.  Full time, I'm a human on this planet.

I invite you to visit my profile and see if we're a match.  I'm Spencer, and welcome to my beautiful world.


Lara Responds:

Hi Spencer.

Thanks for the welcome to your beautiful world and for the poem.  It seems very similar to William Shakespeare's 116th sonnet.  What do you make of that?


Spencer Responds:

Fuck you I'm Shakespeare.


  1. Strong comeback, Spencer. I daresay I didn't think you were the Bard, but now I'm convinced.

  2. Ooooh, I love that poem! What an idiot to think he could take one of the most well known poems ever and claim he wrote it. People are so funny.

  3. Clearly he's a fake...

    Bill Shakespeare would have wrote "Fucketh you"

  4. Truly a sketchy email but that was one fantastic response by Spencer (Or is it spender as it is in the last part!)

  5. Shakespeare always signed of as 'Bill', so clearly a fake.

  6. I'll admit, I didn't know it was Bill's poem. Not a fan of his sonnets, honestly. Still gotta give Spencer his propers for a great comeback. (No sarcasm)

  7. At what point do people not realize that the first thing someone is going to do is pop a line or two into google and see what comes out?

    Also, for the record, poetry isn't that bloody hard.

  8. To sum up most of these e-mails:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Reply to my message
    So we can screw

  9. Highlight, right-click > Search Google for...


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