Anger Is a Thankless Job

Story Submitted by Barry:

Matilda and I were walking next to each other after lunch on our first date when she reached into her pocketbook, handed me a folded piece of paper, and said, "I made this for you."

I unfolded it and read it. It was the words, "Thank you" written in blue ink. I said to her, "For what?"

She said, "For the date."

I said, "You're welcome."

She said, "And?"

"And... uh, you're very welcome?" I hadn't experienced such a thing before, and wondered if it was a reference to something I hadn't seen.

She rolled her eyes and said, "And you're welcome, too!"

I said, "Okay. Thank you, too."

She said, "It's too late. You missed your chance. I shouldn't have to tell you to thank me, too. You should just do it."

I said, "The date wasn't over yet. I'd typically thank you for a good time as we were parting."

She said, "Well, I thanked you now. This isn't really as big a deal as you're making it."

I said, "I'm not making a big deal about anything."

"Christ, stop arguing!" she moaned, "You know better for next time, all right?"

I didn't have any idea what she was talking about. "Next time?" I asked.

She knocked her fist on my head and I jumped away from her. "Hello?" she yelled, "Anyone home? Yes! Next time! Next time! You know to say thank you next time! Have you ever learned manners? God! You're making such a big deal about this."

"Okay," I said, trying to calm things down, "You're right. I'm sorry." I wasn't at all sorry, but I wanted to end things as civilly as possible.

She groaned and said, "Again with the passive-aggressive bullshit! Do you have any idea how angry you sound?"

I said, "I'm done," and walked off.

She chased me down and grabbed my shoulder, "You don't walk away from me! Nobody walks away from me! Do you know who I am? Do you have any clue who you're dealing with?"

I said, "A sad, sad little girl. Excuse me," and I continued on my way.

"You need help," she yelled after me, "You hear me? You need help!"

She sent me an email detailing how my anger would eventually isolate myself and cause me to lose friends. I'll certainly keep that in mind.