He Might Be Teaching Your Kids

Story Submitted by Mae:

Chad and I were both volunteer teachers in an after-school program.  We met after classes were over one day, migrated the conversation to a bar, and he asked me out for that weekend.

We had planned to meet at a nearby restaurant.  I arrived first, and he showed up already tipsy.  He slid into the booth and said, "Hey, those kids at work... they're little shits, right?  I just want to give 'em all a heave-ho if you know what I'm saying?"

I said, "Not really."

He said, "I'll show you what I mean," then slithered out of the booth and motioned for me to follow him.

"We're not having dinner?" I asked.

He said, "We are, but first you've got to see this."  He laughed loudly, and I followed him out of the restaurant and around to the rear parking lot.

He walked to a large plastic garbage bin, opened it up, and looked inside.  "This'll do," he said, then hoisted it up, above his head, yelled, "Heave-ho!" and pitched it right onto the hood and windshield of someone's Mercury, causing a bit of damage.

"Holy shit," I said, backing away.  He approached me with a crazed look in his eye and I yelled, "Stay away from me!  You're nuts!"

He replied, "Only as nuts as I look!" then laughed long and hard again.  I took my opportunity to run, which I did effectively enough to lose him.

I felt terrible about the damage to the car, so I called the restaurant from a pay phone to inform them that someone had vandalized a car in their lot.  When they asked me for the name of the person who vandalized it, I told them.  Then they asked for my contact info and I gave it to them.  In retrospect, I guess I could have called them from my cell, after all.

That was earlier this year, and I haven't heard from anyone about it since.  Although I dread having to interact with Chad again (hopefully it won't come to that), I think that I did the right thing.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. "In retrospect, I guess I could have called them from my cell, after all."

    Lol. I think you did the right thing also, takes guts though. If you hadn't given your name it would have been very difficult for them to pin the vandalism on the idiot.

    Hope he lost his job too. I hate teachers who treat their students like pests.

  3. I also think you did the right thing.

  4. As a person who really doesn't enjoy being around kids, I sympathize with the stress they can cause in when they are in large groups. But why, oh why would you become a teacher or teacher's assistant if you feel that way about kids?

  5. Waiting for Superman - a documentary about teachers and the school system in the US.

    Why would anyone want to be a teacher? Because no matter how shitty a job you do, you'll never lose your job so long as you don't get caught molesting anybody because you're protected by an incredibly powerful union.

  6. ^Unless you work in Rhode Island or Wisconsin or any of the other states where collective bargaining is becoming a thing of the past.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.