Dark Chest of Wonders

Story Submitted by Linda:

Ken and I went out on a single date after meeting online.  He was a nice guy, but quiet and pretty into himself.  When he called to ask me out for a second date, I told him that I didn't sense much chemistry and that I thought it better for us to remain friends.  It sounded like he took it well, and we fell out of touch pretty soon thereafter.

Then, I received the first email.  He wrote me a long, five-paragraph piece all about his life goals, and how if I was "lucky," I could find myself playing a starring role.  I ignored this message, and the next one, and the next one.

His messages became more self-deprecating and he apologized for making me feel uncomfortable.  If I were him, I would have taken the hint and moved on, but I wasn't him.  Thankfully.

I worked as an administrative assistant on the 20th floor of an office building that had a guard in the downstairs lobby.  My particular office was the first one that someone would encounter upon walking in, although there was a glass wall between the office and the hallway.  I'd have to buzz a visitor in.

One day, not long after his last email, I was updating phone records when there was a loud knocking against the glass wall.

I looked up, stunned.  It was Ken, shirtless, with the words, "I'm sorry" emblazoned across his chest in red... god, I hope it was paint or lipstick.  He pointed at it as if I didn't see it at once.

I smiled, nodded, picked up the phone, and called security, who were by to escort him from the building in less than two minutes.  I have no idea how he found out where I had worked, as I had never given him the name or location of the place (although I did tell him the industry in which I worked).

He sent me about a dozen follow-up emails, and I deleted each without responding.


  1. Psht. People act like Facebook stalking is a new thing.

  2. sigh....when I saw the title I was hoping it was a story about Oprah's boobies. What a boner killer.

  3. For once I had a similar thought to Howie. I'm not sure whether I should be ashamed of that or not. :p


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