Bad Day to Wear That Ex-Boyfriend Costume

Story Submitted by John:

Melody and I met online. She was very sweet, but had trouble answering questions about herself, as if she didn't trust me with her information. I was willing to overlook it as nerves for the time being, and we arranged to meet in person at a restaurant.

In person, she was even more uncommunicative, and I was about ready to throw in the towel when, in the middle of one of many silent spells, she blurted, "It's my ex-boyfriend's fault.  He shattered me."

Zero to psychiatrist in under three seconds.  I wanted to be sympathetic, but I really wasn't ready for the life story that she dumped into my lap in the hour that followed.  It was a sad story, full of cheating, breakups, late-night screamfests, angry phone calls, stalking...

Finally, when she was done, she said, "So I'm probably more messed up than most people."

I replied, "I can relate.  My last relationship ended pretty badly, too."

She said, "This isn't about you.  We're talking about me, now."

"I was just trying to help you feel better."

She stood up and laughed creepily.  "Jesus Christ," she said, "You're just like him!  Always making everything about yourself!  You probably are him, in disguise!  Take it off!"

The Psycho theme played in my mind, and I could only stammer out, "Uh... I'm not."

She walked over to my side of the table and made a grab for my face.  "I said take it off!" she screamed and tore at me, but I shoved her away.  She fell to the floor, but scrambled back up and went for me again, screaming, "You're him!  You're him!"

Someone in the restaurant said, "Call the cops!"

I pushed her away again, then bolted out of there, realizing that she couldn't be reasoned with.  She chased me about a block or so before apparently giving up.

The instant I made it home, I blocked her in every way I could over the Internet, and while I'm thankful that I never heard from her since (this was six years ago), I still have to look over my shoulder every now and again when I'm out.


  1. There was nothing you could have said to avoid that situation. My only question is how a girl that messed up and paranoid decides to start looking for people online...

  2. I like the refusal to take responsiblity for teh crazy: "It's my last boyfriend's fault.. he shattered me." Honey, he just gave you a great excuse but I'm afraid it's mostly just you.

  3. I love the title, can't believe OP listened to her for an hour, that went well beyond being sympathetc.

  4. You should have stayed where you were and let the cops pick her up. Maybe then she'd be forced to get the help she so obviously needs...

  5. I desperately want to hear her rebuttal. Not because I blame OP or anything, but because I so want to know what was going on in her head that compelled her to actually try to remove someone's face. "And THAT was when I realized it was him, my ex-boyfriend, in disguise! 'Take it off!' I cried. He stammered, 'Uh... I'm not.' AS IF I was going to fall for that again..."


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