Why Is This Dead Girl on the Sidewalk?

Story Submitted by Kevin:

Back in college, I asked Denise out and before the date, inquired as to whether she preferred a particular cuisine for our first dinner date.  She said that she liked Italian.  When I met her at the Italian place I had picked, she said, "This place isn't going to work.  It's Italian."

I said, "Yes, like you asked."

She said, "I never said Italian.  I said Chinese."

"I'm pretty sure you said Italian."  She then held her breath.  I asked, "What are you doing?"  She kept holding her breath and I asked, "Why are you–Denise, what the hell?"

She said, "Are we doing Chinese?"

I said, "Yes!  Yes!  Fine!"  She gasped for air.  I asked, "Were you going to hold your breath until I said that Chinese was fine?"

She nodded and said, "It's how I get my way."

I laughed and asked, "Are you six or something?"  She held her breath again.  I began, "Denise, come on, you–" but then I stopped myself.  I walked away from that nutjob, and never saw her again.


  1. How did she ask if you were going to Chinese while still holding her breath? Is she magical?

  2. It's easy to speak a simple sentence without having to inhale if you've already got a lungful of air.

  3. I would have had too much fun with this woman.

  4. I would have waited to see if she passed out.

  5. Eh, she can't die from it, I'd have found her a chair and let her get on with being a spoiled brat.

  6. Bravo OP for not hanging around or validating this spoiled brat of a woman's childishness.

  7. Oh boy... I would have let her pass out, called an ambulance, and walked away.

    Again, maybe the price of a hospital ride would have straightened her out some.

  8. Short and sweet. Way to go.


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