Think Potential

Story Submitted by Pauline:

Tom messaged me on a dating site and I checked out his profile.  Every photo he had posted of himself was of him with a different pristine muscle car.  The captions read things like, "My baby," and "My pride and joy."  I'm not into cars, myself, but in his message, he wrote, "My love of cars is second only to my devotion to someone special."  In his further defense, he came across as a well-spoken and good guy, so I gave him a chance.

He asked me, in the week leading up to the date, "Which car do you want me to bring?  I'll pick you up in anything you see on my profile."

I wrote back, "Whichever you want."

He wrote back saying that he'd surprise me.  In all honesty, I couldn't care either way.

He showed up in a rusty old Plymouth that didn't have a muffler.  "What do you think of her?" he asked me at my doorstep, "Think potential."

"It's... you can do quite a bit, starting from here," I said, trying to be supportive.

He said, "Wait 'til you see how it rides!"

We climbed into the car, he revved the engine, and he drove it so fast around the block that I was amazed that the vehicle didn't disintegrate.  He looked over at me and must have seen that I was ready to die.  "What's wrong?" he asked, "Not fast enough?"

"Too fast," I said, "Please slow down."

He hit the brakes a little hard, but the car slowed to a stop.  He said, "I know a good place to race it.  Want to go?"

I said, "Not really.  We can start with dinner."

He rolled his eyes and said, "Okay, little Miss. Sewing Kit."

I replied, "Just because I'm not into racing cars doesn't mean that I lead an unexciting life."

He said, "Okay, now the fighting starts.  You know, most of your kind typically wait until they at least have a few free meals off a guy before they break out the inner bitch."

I opened my car door and said, "Get lost, creep."  As I stepped out, he jolted the car forward, nearly making me lose my balance.  He stopped the car, and I walked off.  He then drove away, down the street, the car door from which I had emerged still hanging open for a little bit before he disappeared around a corner.


  1. FINALLY, someone who leaves at the FIRST red flag! Good job with the self respect, OP!

  2. We've a few other car nuts on this site before who get overly attached to their cars. I've never understood the phenomenon in which a fancy car = a guy's self-worth, but as a female, I'm sure there's an equivalent somewhere.

    I'm with Aggie: good job, Pauline, for leaving his stupid ass. I hope the car door fell off as he whipped around the corner.

  3. I'm with Agnes and Nikki. Good job OP for GTFO there at the first sign of trouble.

  4. I've never been good at sewing, but I've recently taken up making sock monkeys, or "sock abominations," as I've taken to calling them as I am terrible at sewing (see above). It's hard as shit to sew a halfway decent looking sock monkey, so Tom really shouldn't mock those who sew.

  5. I heard that guys buy souped up sports cars and large SUV's to make up for a lack of man size.

    That's why Howie drives a Mini.

    Watch me - want me, ladies!

  6. I'd be impressed with one of these douchebags if they at least made the car themselves by hand, part for part, or maybe put it together themselves at least, or something to the effect... as it is though, any moron can buy a car and immediately invest their already small ego into something that they did not even create at all.

  7. Exactly, Howie! The way to my heart is with seat belts and a liberal use of turn signals.

  8. Nikki!!!!!!
    I'm flirting with other girls agaaaaaaaain!

  9. Actually, I just keep using a different screen name, so you've already flirted with me.

  10. By Howie's logic I'm going to start looking for men who ride bikes or walk.


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