Then I Shelved the "Controlled Substances" Section

E-mail Submitted by Mark:

Its time for a date with me.  I work at a bookstore as a chelver.  I chelve all day and all night with no break or rest.  I'm the best clehver there ever was.  I want to uvt with a bachelors in compsci and now i chelve books as a chelver.

I realized that things weren't so hot when I chelved books in the compsci section of the bookstore yesterdsay.  I thought wtf am I doing not doing compsci?  So I'm back on the comp and thought I'd message you first  How are youu doing?  Maybe i'll start my own dating website haha.  Maybe I'll ask you to be on it haha.  A dating website of just us two haha.

haha.  Do you have a favorite book?  I can get it for you.  and to keep not like at a library where ou have other peopls fingers and coughs and seemen all over the book.  I want to start my own biusness that much is clear.  I'm motivated.  So what motivates you?  -wingwang -motive



  1. I don't know what's the best part about this...the fact that she spells shelve/shelver like that, or the crazy talk bits.

    Also, library books have semen on them?? ...Well, I guess that just depends on what section the book is from.

  2. Maybe she was doing a search for this entire statistically improbable phrase and used the boolean operators of -wingwang and -motive to drop the undoubtedly plentiful results that would have included such words.

  3. haha. I'm an idiot. hahaha. I pspell thing rongly. haha. i heart copmsi. haha. haha. haha. haha.

  4. Seemen... Heh heh.

  5. To be fair, it *is* annoying when library books are covered in semen.

  6. Everything about this was wonderful.

  7. This comment is so ridiculously late, but I couldn't not share the fact that this story made me yell "SEMEN?!?" at the computer screen. Good thing there was nobody else around.


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