Somebody Call Lacuna, Inc.

Story Submitted by Chuck:

When I went to pick up Martha for our first date, I brought her a small bouquet of flowers, as she had said that she liked lilies and daffodils.

I arrived at her place, she opened her door, and gave me a big hug.  She took the bouquet and said, "Thanks for all the flowers this week."

I asked, "What flowers?"

She beckoned to me, and I followed her in.  On her dining room table were bunches and bunches of flowers in vases of water, all of which were lovely, but none of which had I sent her.  I said, "Maybe it's a secret admirer.  Not me, though."

She gave me a look, then turned to the flowers, apparently thinking.  Then comprehension seemed to wash over her face.  She said, "Oh, yes.  I know who sent them."  She turned to me and went on, "Yeah, so I forgot.  There's this other guy you don't know.  He and I–well, I think that I'm going to pursue things with him, instead.  Sorry."

She walked me to the door, and I was almost too confused to speak.  Almost.  I said, "Are you kidding me?  You expect me to believe that you forgot about this other guy until just now?"

She said, "You can believe whatever.  Thanks for coming by!" then gave me a gentle push out of her house and closed the door.  I stood on the stoop long enough for her to open the door again, say, "Sorry, you can take these," hand me my bouquet back, and shut it once more.

I felt as if I had been blindsided by an elephant, but went home and gave the flowers to an attractive coworker at work the next day, so at least something good came of it.


  1. Whoa, what an unabashedly dick move. But I guess at least she didn't string you along?

  2. I'm glad she gave you back the flowers.

  3. Don't feel bad OP, you dodged a schizophrenic bullet that could've really hurt much worse later.

  4. Reminds me of the woman who ordered herself flowers and chocolate and balloons just to see if her date would lie about being the one who sent them.

  5. At least you got your flowers back.

  6. I was expecting her to have sent herself the flowers for some weird test again...


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