3/14/2011

Rhymes with "Class"

Story Submitted by Owen:

Marcy and I arranged to meet for the first time in a park, and she arrived at our date with her arm in a sling.  She hadn't mentioned any sort of injury before, and naturally, I was concerned and curious.

"What happened?" I asked.

She glanced at her arm and said, "Too much jerking off."

I said, "That's great.  Did you have a good day?"

We commenced with our walk, talking about this and that.  She always seemed to bring the discussion around to flings she'd had with her former dates and boyfriends:

"Mark and I, we fucked inside a Chevy..."

"Raymond and I invited a girl to join us one time..."

"Pete thought it would be hot to whip me..."

To each of these statements, I responded nonchalantly, with a simple, "Cool," or "Nice."  I was pretty sure she was going for more of a reaction out of me, but that was precisely what I wasn't going to give her.  The less interested I seemed, the more relentless she became.

Finally, after then sixth or so report from the sexual battlefield, she said, "Wow, you're really not interested in me, are you?"

I said, "On the contrary, I've been listening to you talk about yourself this whole time.  You haven't asked me a single thing about myself, so I actually have more of a reason to believe that you couldn't care less about me."

She shook her head and said, "Wow.  You must really hate me because of all of these things I've done, huh?"

I said, "No, but I think you're boring because that's all you ever talk about."

She fell a few steps behind and said, "You know, I could be with any other guy I wanted to right now, but I picked you because I thought you were worth it.  Guess I was wrong, huh?"

I smiled and said, "I think you have a lot to learn."  I walked for about another ten steps before I stopped, realizing that she was no longer walking with me, and that she was disappearing down the lane in the other direction.

4 comments:

  1. Looks like this Owen gentleman really dodged a bullet. This Marcy sounds too wrapped up in herself to have a relationship with anyone. Mr. Owen needs to find a real woman who can make him feel appreciated and cared for and RESPECTED.
    I'd like to think that somewhere in this universe and across this Internet, among all the nutjobs and the seventh-graders-in-adult-bodies, Owen will luck out one day and find a lady who will treat him like an emperor

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  2. 'Owen' is a 'nice guy' who probably went home and moaned about how he never gets laid.

    Honestly, a date is to get to know someone, maybe have sex, and maybe maybe develop into something more. Taking things one at a time, she seemed to be up for sex - maybe if he'd taken time to get to know her more, she would have got over trying to impress him with her sexual experience and they could have got on to more.

    If not, he could have got laid with a willing young lady. And not gone home and moaned while reaching for the KY.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah yes Brad, you sure have me figured out

    ReplyDelete

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