Life's a Carnival

Story Submitted by Ben:

Carla and I were at a small fair on our first date and we passed by a midway with carnival games.  She pointed at a stuffed monkey, pulled me close, and asked me if I'd win it for her.  The object of the game was to take a pellet gun and shoot the image of a red star out completely from a hanging card.  I wasn't anything approaching a good marksman, but I thought I'd give it a try.

Try I did, and I came close but I didn't end up winning.  "It's hard," I told her.

She said, "I'm sure.  Try again."

I forked over another three dollars and tried once more.  This time, I did even worse, even though I had shot most of the red star out of the card.  As mentioned before, I'm an inexperienced marksman.

"I'll say," Carla said, shouldering me aside, "Let me try."  She picked up the gun and said to me, "Pay the man."

I said, "No.  If you're going for it, you pay.  I'm already down six dollars."

She paid the guy and tried for it.  She did about the same as I did.  She put down another three, same result.  Soon, I grew tired of watching her and I walked over to another game, one in which you had to toss a ping pong ball into cups of different colors for various prizes.  That one I nailed, and wouldn't you know it, one of the prizes was the exact same monkey that she had wanted.  I grabbed it and returned to her.

She was still busy at the pellet game.  I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned to see me with the monkey.  "Where'd you get that?" she asked.

I said, "From another game.  It's yours.  Stop wasting your money on this."

She said, "I almost have it.  There's a trick to it."  She tried again.  Then again.  Then again.  Then again.

I held the monkey up to her and said, "I won the monkey for you.  Why are you still doing this?"

She said, "I want that monkey," and pointed up at the one she had pointed to before.

I said, "They're exactly the same."

She said, "No.  No," and continued on with the shooting game.

I said, "I'll meet you by the food court," as it was around lunch time.  I took the monkey with me.

A little while later, she showed up, holding a monkey of her own.  "I did it," she said, "I did what you couldn't."

I said, "Spend $60 to win a monkey?  Congratulations."

She took out the card with the star shot out of it.  "I got this, too."

A little boy with a frown on his face was eating at a nearby table.  I stood up and handed him the monkey I had won.  "Here you go."

His face blossomed into a smile.  His parents stared at me for a minute, then turned to him and said, "Awww, what do you say, Tim?"

Tim said, "Thank you!"

I sat back down with Carla.  She whispered to me, "You're a fucking idiot."

We clearly had different priorities in life, and so that was my last time seeing her.


  1. Not the worst date on here. OP sounds a little full of himself, and Carla is too competitive. It was just a case of mismatched personalities.

  2. Too competitive? She wanted a monkey, he got her a monkey. She ignored him to focus on winning and then got mad because he did what he wanted with the monkey he'd offered her and she'd rejected. That's not "competitive" that's "rude and obnoxious".

  3. Probably for giving away a precious $60 monkey, I guess...

  4. She sounds annoying ("I did what you couldn't."), but the OP could have paid her a couple of tries. Seems a bit tight to me.

    Karen, I don't think his monkey cost $60, hers did.

  5. The REAL story here is how the HELL did she ever manage to actually shoot out ALL the star. Those games are pretty much impossible to win - I remember shooting the entire thing out and being denied on the basis of a tiny bit of red still hanging on by a cardboard thread...

    I suspect the guy running the game had mercy on her after she spent so much.
    Nowadays, i'd just use my 100 rounds shooting up the toys on the back wall.

  6. Way to ruin it for everybody Jason.

  7. I believe the rebuttal. It makes more sense, the lady explains everything clearly while this guy's version is definitely on the defensive/passive aggressive side.


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